GWvsSM
by Nuki Yin
Summary: Sailor Scouts decide to take out the Gundam Boys. BIG MISTAKE. Crossover mayhem at its finest! Zero system Quatre and Sinister Sailor Saturn clash at last!!! Trowa looks like Sailor Jupiter's ex. Heero REALLY hates princesses. CHAOS still ensues!
1. Chapter 1: Factory Mayhem

**_GWvsSM_**

**FANFIC by Nuki Yin**

**ALL characters in story are NOT owned by ME.**

**_On the last episode of Gundam Wing: _**_The Gundam Team was assigned to __Tokyo__ for an investigation of the local factory. The enlisted in the nearby school, where they met 6 other girls, who didn't seem to pose a threat, but annoyed the Hell out of them when they walked to school…._

_            Uh… Anywhoo, mysterious monsters starting showing up, but before the GW Boys could deal with the matter, another team of teens beat them to the chase;  a team of 'sailor' girls. That not being the issue, they decide to make their move upon the factory and infiltrate without the use of the Gundams._

_            However, the 5 Pilots will soon realize that their mission is NOT that simple, because the Sailor Scouts are coming up with the same strategy for the mysterious factory._

**Chapter 1: Factory Mayhem**

            Usagi sat in front of the TV next to Rini while the rest of her comrades (or girlfrinz) tried to come up with a strategy to overcome the latest threat upon Neo Tokyo.

            The newswoman on the TV announced: "Hundreds of people in Neo Tokyo are frightened out of their minds over the recent gunfire and explosions heard at the Factory Building in the Downtown city area. It was said that when cops were sent to handle the situation, they disappeared, losing all contact with headquarters. So now the city has decided to call them off and await a more formidable help…"

            Usagi chomped on her chocolate chip cookie and enunciated, "Wow, this looks bad! I wonder who's gonna face that?"

            Raye bonked Usagi on the head and snapped, "We are, you Meat-Ball Head! You're SO STUPID!!! How in the WORLD did YOU become leader you DOLT!!!"

            Usagi began her usual wailing and raspberry. Raye counterattacked with a raspberry of her own.

            Annoyed, and deeply embarrassed, Rini bonked Usagi on the head as well, "Don't you get it, Meatball Head!? We have to save the city! "She yelled.

            Lita intervened, "Yeah! Usagi, this could be the final confrontation!"

            Mina cheered, "We could be rid of the new threat forever!"

            "Oh….. Yeah, I knew that…" Usagi suddenly decided to get serious. "Alright, Super Sailor Scout Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake-Up!!!"

@ @ @ @

            Duo Maxwell rubbed his gloved hands together and grinned, "Well, that makes 12 police cars for the taking!"

            Heero Yuy dragged yet another unconscious cop into a nearby steel drum and paused, "We have Gundams, Duo. Why would we need a car?" he spoke in his usual lifeless tone. After saying that, he stuffed the cop into the steel drum and pushed it down the sloped road.

            Duo blinked and shuddered at the sound of the loud metallic CRASH of the drum colliding with the other 24 steel drums.

            "… I was just kidding, Heero. But you gotta admit those police car engines would make a pretty penny on the Black Market!"

            The Perfect Soldier pondered for a bit, "Hn…" He was actually considering the idea.

            "…" Trowa Barton announced dragging yet another unconscious body from within the factory building itself.

            The victim was not a cop though; he wore a lab coat and creepy-looking swirly glasses on his face. He had very light blonde hair.

"…" Heero responded.

Duo scratched his head, "You two are SO weird!" he exclaimed.

            Just then, Quatre Raberba Winner appeared, climbing down the side of the factory building. Wufei Chang was also seen exiting the decimated facility, only he decided to just jump off the building.

            "What's the deal, Quatre?" Duo asked. "I heard some crazy stuff while I was out here with the cops."

            Quatre wiped his forehead in exhaustion, "It was like the Playboy Mansion from Hell!"

            "Cool!"

            "Uhm…. NO!" Quatre continued, "All these crazy half naked women were attacking us with pods and chicks with the GOOFIEST costumes tried to…harass us." He pointed to the professor and concluded, "That guy was giving the orders until Trowa…"

            "Kicked his ass for all it was worth," Wufei added staring at the Silencer with a newfound respect (uh more so…). He then walked off peering down the road at the collection of steel drums scattered all over street and mumbled, "Stupid women, STUPID professor…. Poor cops."

            "He **touched** my **hair**…" Trowa mumbled VERY lowly. "…He **touched** my **hair**…." He repeated with a low growl.

            Heero walked over to Trowa and his captive, he was about to take him and stuff him into a steel drum, but he noticed the name tag. "Prof. Tomoe? This is an OZ agent?"

            Trowa spoke, "I don't think so. To be honest this does NOT look like the work of OZ. I mean... pod monsters?"

            Duo slyly sneaked up and snatched Prof. Tomoe out of Trowa's grip and hastily dragged him towards the garbage dumpster not to far off.

            Trowa just stared at the God of Death….. oddly. "I think we should leave this place before we attract anymore attention." He uttered without emotion and started to walk off.

            "Affirmative. Let's move out." Heero agreed using the same tone and strolled off.

            Despite the fact the Pilots 01 and 03's voices were barely audible to Quatre and Wufei followed the obvious body language (the walking off part) and followed. They glanced back at Duo who was still trying to push over a half ton garbage receptacle.

            "He'll figure it out…" Wufei grumbled to Quatre. "…eventually."

            Quatre nodded and spoke out to the Wing Zero pilot, "Heero, Outer Space is where we need to be right now."

            "I completely agree, Quatre." He said in compliance. Heero abruptly turned around and cracked a sadistic smirk and concluded, "We will blow this place up."

            "Kick ass!" Trowa and Wufei shouted.

            "Uh……." Trowa became shocked at his own reaction and went back to mute mode. "…"

            The Sandrock pilot blinked at Heero for a second and protested, "I didn't say: 'Let's blow the place up!' ---- I said: 'That we need to go to outer space!'"

            "Whoa! Blow the place up!?" Duo rejoiced not to far off in distance as he sent the dumpster rolling down the sloped road. "Hell's YEAH!"

            Quatre put his hands in his face, "Dear… gawd!" 

            Pilot 04 soon found himself chasing behind the other 4 pilots begging for mercy… of Neo Tokyo. Unfortunately, his pleas for the city were in vain. Heero, Trowa, and Wufei marched onward. Duo skipped, cartwheeled, jogged, and practically raced towards the secret hideaway.

            "We're blowing up a city! We're blowing up a city! We're blowing up a city! We're blowing up a city!" The Deathscythe pilot cheered evilly (is that really a word?)

            "Can't we just leave?" Quatre whined.

            "….No." Heero answered coldly.

            "Why do we always have to destroy and blow up the places we go to and leave from?"

            "Because, we can." Trowa responded low—but coldly.

            "'Because WE CAN?!?' That's not an answer!"

            "It's the **ONLY** answer. The assignment was a fluke. We wasted precious time…" Wufei recalled. "We could've been nuking multiples of cities and bases, and mobile suits…"

            "So to retaliate, you're gonna blow up Neo Tokyo?! That's NOT fair!!!" Quatre continued the fight for lives.

            Heero and the other turned around to glare at Quatre.

            "Life's not fair, Quatre," Heero spoke as he silently motioned for Trowa to act, "Neither is this…."

            **BONK!!!**

            Trowa had quietly snuck up behind the blonde Arabian and **'BONKED' him on the head.**

            "AaaAaaYH! My heart………..my soul…………….my heaaaaaaaad……" he whimpered as he lost consciousness.

            "I'm not carrying him!" Duo laughed trotting away.

            Wufei was already out of the scene.

            "You hit him." Heero stared at Quatre's unconscious body.

            "You sent the order…" Trowa protested.

            "You're taller…"

            "You're…. you're…. damnit!"

            "Gets him every time…" Heero uttered to himself as he walked off, free from carrying–unconscious-Quatre-duty (This apparently happens often).

            That being done, the 5 Gundam pilots were well on their way to boarding their walking doomsday machines….


	2. Chapter 2: Girls chase Boys

**Chapter 2: Girls chase Boys **

            Sailor Moon and Mini Moon were trying to figure out what exactly happened, along with the Lunar Cats. While Sailor Venus scampered around the ruble outside the devastated factory. Meanwhile, Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Mars searched the inside of the factory for enemies. 

However, it was Sailor Mercury who located Prof. Tomoe and several steel drums containing very panicked and sore police officers. She called out for the other Sailor Scouts to assist her while she tended to one of the officers.

"Oh dear! Who did this to you?!" Sailor Mercury implored in concern as she dragged the officer out of the steel drum.

He uttered with a pained groan, "It was a boy…. A teenaged boy…."

"Did he turn into a Nega-Beast?"

"No…. he kicked my ass!" he announced in agony. "It hurts… so… bad… the pain…"

Sailor Mercury gasped, "Just one boy?"

"n-No! I think it was a girl--- NO he just looked like a girl. I don't know-- it wasn't human. They both kicked our ass for all it was worth. And stuffed us in a steel drum….." he began to babble incoherently before passing out. "Ugh…"

The rest of the Sailor Scouts approached 'steel drum alley' where Mercury was located.

"What happened here?" Sailor Moon asked.

Sailor Mercury stood up, gathered her wits, and answered, "The officer said something out a boy and some girl attacking them--- But I still think it's the work of the NegaVerse, Dark Moon, or something REALLY bad!"

Sailor Jupiter and Mars announced that the surveillance camera outside showed that the assailants escaped east. They also broke the news that there were 5 of them.

"Five?!" Sailor Moon shrieked. "That's a heavy load."

Sailor Mars huffed, "They're heading east? Right? We're going in Scouts!"

Sailor Moon stared in the eastward direction and cringed, "It's a road. Do we have to creep down the road? I mean we could go back and get Mamoru and----OW!" 

She concluded her complaint with a 'yipe' from being BAPPED in the head by Sailor Mars.

"You're such a ditz!"

"Am NOT!"

Sailor Mini Moon added in on the verbal assault, "Are too! Silly Meatball head!!!"

"Am nooooooot!"

"Are too!"

"Are too, Meatball brain!"

"AM NOT!!"

"Are too!"

"Are too, stupid Meatball head!!"

Suddenly Sailor Mercury intervened as the other Sailor Scouts and Cats walked off, "For the love of the Moon! STOP bickering! How are we supposed to defeat the enemy when we are fighting amongst ourselves!?"

"Sorry."

"Sorry, Amy."

"My bad!" Usagi replied.

"…" Sailor Mercury retorted in annoyance.

* * * *

            "That wasn't very nice!" Quatre yelled almost whimpering. "You hit me!"

            "I know…" Trowa 'The Silencer' Barton spoke as if he were on serious barbiturates. "It was quite funny."

            "*sniff!*"

            "…"

            That being said Quatre stopped the waterworks and smiled, "O-Okay! I forgive you! You're so cool!"

            "…"

            "It's all good, Homey!"

            Now that Pilots 03 and 04 are friends again, all that is left now is the repossession of the Gundams…

            "Are we there yet?" Duo asked for the billionth time before being swatted at courtesy of Heero. "Ow! Hey! I was just wanted to---OUCH!!!"

            "…SHUT-up…" Heero snapped in a dull tone… of rage.

            The Gundam Fab Five were climbing up a slightly steep hill to reach the clearing in the abandoned field. Concentration is much needed. Falling on your ass does NOT win cool points…

            Good thing Duo had so much to spare.

            It took 20 minutes for Duo to finally ascend to the top of the hill. He made pretty good time, considering he was knocked back a few times by Heero for being annoying. He was even yanked back by Wufei for stepping on his hand while climbing.

            "Ah-HA!! I made it guys! What a workout!" The Braided Wonder cheered as he flexed his limbs and jumped around. He took a glance around the mini-summit and called out, "Hey where'd everybody go!?"

            "If not for Wufei and his infamous 'Nataku-Withdrawal', I'd just throw you back down the hill…" Heero voiced as he appeared from…. Nowhere.

            Duo was about to say something smart-assed and make a run for it, until he heard Wufei, in the distant clearing calling, out for Nataku… possibly sobbing. Quatre could be heard laughing out loud as Trowa lost all control and started to snicker at the pathetic display.

            "Heero, we gotta hurry!" Quatre called out. "He's going nuts!"

            "…" Trowa joked.

            "That was a mean thing to say. He really likes that Gundam."

            "…"

            "Hahahahaahahahahahahaha!!!"

            Heero put his glare back to the Deathscythe pilot and mumbled, "…I'd shoot him, but he's the sole survivor of his clan…. What the Hell…." He made his way down the opposite side of the hill and heading towards the clearing.

            Duo followed, laughing his ass off.

* * * *

            "Aw man" Sailor Moon moaned in disbelief, "More roughing it!"

            Sailor Jupiter rubbed her aching knees, "I have to agree, but let's think positive! It's a great workout!"

            "That's super, Lita, just tell that to my hair that's collecting…. Twigs." Sailor Venus spoke in aggravation as she pulled the 100th twig out of her long blonde hair. "And dirt…" she added as she shook her head free of the 30lbs of dirt."Oh! And let's not forget…. Bugs—ick!" she concluded tossing a giant beetle-borg like creature out of her hair.

            Sailor Mars rested her sore bottom upon a large rock and started to massage her feet, "Oh man these pumps are killing me!"

            "Maybe we should've given Usagi's idea a go…" Sailor Mercury thought to herself, examining the terrain over the steep hill. "Oh… my…Gawd…."

Her eyes nearly bugged out when she sighted the enemy at the clearing. "Scouts get up here!!!! WE'VE got MAJOR trouble, girls!"

            "Wha…?!? How did you get up there SO fast?" Sailor Moon gagged.

            "….That's not important! I found the enemy. And they got MAJOR weapons!!!"

            "What?!?!" The Sailor Scouts gasped.

            20 minutes later the Sailor Scouts made the summit. To their surprise the scene they were expecting to see had turned out to be much worse.

            "What are those robot thingies!?!" Sailor Mini Moon asked, shaking in her hi-boots!

            "Beats me…" Sailor Moon sighed. "Something capable of kicking our ass!"

            "I think you're right!" Sailor Mars admitted. "Our only chance is to stop those creeps from using them!"

            Suddenly Artemis, the white cat, spoke out smiling nervously, "You can do it!"

            Luna sighed in doubt "Oh dear gawd…."

            Sailor Jupiter felt a burst of adrenaline go through her and boomed, "We CAN! We've dealt with much worse!!!"

            "We have?" the whole party asked.

            "You're not making this situation ANY better…" Sailor Jupiter grumbled.


	3. Chapter 3: Confrontation!!!

**Chapter 3: Confrontation Begins**

Now, all 5, ass-kicking Gundams are out in full view, standing defiantly in the moonlit clearing. The Pilots are ready to go! Already garbed in their customized, black space suits and helmets, the boys each made their way to their killer suits.

Duo was already climbing into the infamous Deathscythe's cockpit when he notice Heero's strange/r behavior. He called out to him, imitating Relena's voice, "**_Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeero_**!"

            Heero instantly snapped back to reality and looked around for the Stalking Princess. He suddenly gave a death glare to Duo.

            "Don't tell me you miss this place already, Heero?"

            "Hn…" Heero continued to scan the distant clearing, from the cockpit of his Wing Zero. He seemed concerned as if he was looking for something… or someone….

            "….?" Trowa asked to Heero. The tall pilot had not boarded his Gundam; instead he stood in front of the massive foot of his HeavyArms. He began to look out to the steep hill, he merely flipped over a while back. Something seemed… off.

            Quatre sensed the slight distress of the two pilots and climbed out of the Sandrock. "My Space Heart is telling me something… something's very wrong, guys." He descended to the ground by wire and started to stare outward towards the hill.

            Wufei glance out for a second before he continued to hand wax his Nataku. "Whatever. What can the enemy do to us? We're in our Gundams." He scoffed.

            "We are being followed." Heero spoke.

            "…" Trowa agreed. 

            "Followed!?" Duo grunted as he reached for his revolver. "Where they at!?!"

            Heero and Trowa gestured for him to eye the hillside.

            "Over there…"Quatre replied verbally while pointing.

            "Let's blow them up!" Wufei snorted in disgust. "That's why we have the Gundams….. Hell-O!"

            "Are they cops!?" Duo beamed, looking around the ground for steel drums.

            "Heero! Look out!!!" Trowa yelled… (to the disbelief of himself) when he saw the first sign of danger streaming towards Pilot 01.

            He may have yelled, but Mute-Boy wasn't loud enough…

            A bright pink, sparkly, heart-shaped beam went straight for Heero. He dodged before it hit his body, but the beam grazed his arm, and blasted the interior of the Wing Zero cockpit.

            "What the Hell is that?!" the God of Death exclaimed, ducking for cover.

            "…the Bitch blasted me…" 

            "A Bitch!?" Duo shouted in astonishment.

            "Several, and they're approaching fast." Trowa announced as he took off his helmet, and aimed his Magnum towards to oncoming girl team. "I count six."

            Heero was about to start the cap-fest, along with Trowa, until he realized that the impact of the Pink-Beam-O-Doom had knocked the Wing Zero off balance…

            "Hn!" Heero gasped, "!!!"

            Duo's violet eyes widened in shock! "Heero! The Gundam's falling!!!"

            "I…. Know… That….!!!!" He yelled in his usual tone. The Wing Zero began to fall backwards. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!"

            Wufei spazzed, "Oh NO!!! The vibration of the fall is gonna disturb my Nataku's state of balance!!! Damn you, Heero!"

            **CRASH!!! Wing Zero and Heero landed with a violent and metallic ****CRASH!!!**

            The impact had knocked Trowa and Quatre to the ground.

            "Ack!" The Blonde Arabian shouted. "My heart! My soul!"

            "My leg!" Heero screamed in subtle agony. "My FUCKING leg!!!"

            Sure enough, the Gundam Shenlong was vibrated off balance and started to make a fall on its gundanium-mecha-ass, as well. Wufei made a desperate escape out of the cockpit, however. He flipped out of the cockpit and landed gracefully on the grassy ground.

            "INJUSTICE!!! I'll say it again! Fucking Injustice!!!" Wufei cursed over and over again. 

            Suddenly a bunch of flaming paper thingies went flying towards Wufei, hitting EVERY inch of his body. He screamed in ire and pain as he went to rolling in the soon to be seared grass. Thank gawd he wore a helmet!

            As the Solitary Dragon went into Chinese curses…. The God of Death jumped down from his customized Gundam and proceeded to help Heero… That is if Heero could stop helping himself… Duo nearly lost his stomach's contents upon seeing the Perfect Soldier setting his bones back in place.

            "Jeezus! For the love of---- Go to the hospital!!!"

            "Don't….***SNAP!* Have time….*****CRACKLE!!* Must kill…. *****POP!!!* Targets…"**

            That being done, Heero Yuy stood up, removed his helmet, and followed the nauseated Duo towards the threat at hand.

            Wufei had just finished clearing up from the fire (not to mention a stream of Chinese curse words), when he and the other pilots sighted the enemies in full view.

            "ONNAS!?!? Onnas did this! They shall suffer the wrath of Justice!!!!" He shouted as he removed his helmet and prepared for battle.

            Quatre removed his helmet, as well, and sighed in hesitation. "We can't use our Gundams against these ladies. We should not fight…."

            "Scared of a bunch of girls, Quatre." Duo teased as he followed suit and removed his helmet. His senselessly long braid plopped down to his waist. "They're no big deal. We've dealt with much worse. We don't need the Gundams to take them out."

            "…Normally I do not favor hurting a woman's feelings…." He removed his helmet and dropped his gun. "But since they made to first move and took out 2 gundams. The enemy has left us with no choice, Quatre. They must be eliminated."

            "What?!  You—Trowa Barton---talking?!??!?" Duo. "What's wrong with you sca---!!!"

            "…" Trowa glared at Duo with his visible eye.

            "S-Sorry! Damn!"

            Wufei snapped at the both of them, "This isn't getting us anywhere. Let's just slaughter these onnas and leave!"

            Heero stepping in front of the Gundam Pilots gave the affirmative, "Hn…" and led the team towards the Sailor Scouts.

~~~~~~~~ 

            Now standing a whopping 10ft away, the Sailor Scouts were finally gonna confront the 'mystery boys'.

            "Hey, isn't there a girl in the group?" Sailor Venus whispered to Sailor Mercury in curiosity. "Talk about being lucky! Surrounded by those cute boys!"

            Sailor Mercury gave a slight smirk at the thought. That blonde chick is certainly the envied one as far as she could see… "You mean the blonde, next to the tall guy. I see your point…. He's kinda handsome."

            Sailor Jupiter interrupted, "Sorry, ladies. I call the tall guy." She swooned, "He looks just like my old boyfrin Freddy…. Awww!"

            Sailor Moon overheard EVERYTHING and reacted with her usual whine, "Oh, give me a break! EVERYBODY looks like Freddy! The waiter at the club. The bum at the park…."

            Sailor Mini Moon added, "Don't forget the pizza delivery guy at Mina's house. The male hooker in the downtown area…."

            "That tall guy in our gym class that just enrolled at our school. That black rapper at the concert last month at the auditorium…." Sailor Mercury added.

            "ALRIGHT! I get the point. I still call the tall one!" Sailor Jupiter let out a squeak as she stared at the taller pilot. "Hey!!! It is the guy from gym class! The new guy!!!" She started to wave at him and shouted, "Hey! Trowa! What are you doing here!? It's me---"

            "Shhhhh!!!" Luna voiced. "They're NOT supposed to know who we are!!!" She looked cautiously at the five young men…. Or 4 men and one blonde girl…. Whatever….. She added, "They may seem human but they are probably monsters from the NegaVerse…

            As the black cat continued to babble, Sailor Mars couldn't help but notice the black haired pilot looked strangely familiar. It was the foreign exchange student that had just arrived at her school. "Is that Chang Wufei? What?1 He's a part of the NegaVerse?" she frowned. She kinda thought he was cute….

            In an angry, chauvinistic, jerk-ish sort of way…. Pity she'd have to waste him….

            "I have a bad feeling about this, girls…." Sailor Mars admitted. "We should retreat and call for back up!"

            Sailor Moon intervened and put on a brave face, "Oh you're just nervous cuz that Chinese guy looks like the other Chinese guy at your school. All we gotta do is Moon Zap him and he'll probably turn back to normal----OW!!!"

            Sailor Mars smacked her leader upside the head and hissed, "Sailor Moon!!!! Stop embarrassing me---- Whatever the case we'll get to the bottom of it once we defeat these NegaScum…" she proclaimed regaining her boldness. "AND Wufei…"

~~~~~~~~~

            Soon the Sailor Scouts turned their graceful gait in to a full charge, going for the kill. The Gundam Team stopped in their tracks and got ready to counter…

            "Let's dance!" Duo grimaced.


	4. Chapter 4: Battle Ready! FIGHT!!!

**Chapter 4: Battle Ready—FIGHT!!!**

"Hey!!!! I recognize you!!!" Sailor Venus yelled pointing her finger in Duo's direction. "You're the new student: Duo Maxwell!"

            Duo halted in his boots and feigned shock, "Oh my gosh!!! How'd she guess? Mina knows MY identity!"

            Mina--- er Sailor Venus choked, "You know—I mean why would you think I'm Mina, from Crossroads High?!?"

            Everyone in the future melee froze in their tracks at the revelation. The Gundam pilots did so more in response to the Sailor Scouts idea of disguise. Heero was the first to speak out:

            "You just exposed the fact that you are Mina from Crossroads High." He hissed in annoyance.

            "It's not like any of you are in a REAL disguise. You are the same girls from school…. Lita." Trowa added calmly.

Jupiter let out a yelp. Then she started blushing, "He knows who I am! He probably led me here! AWWWWWW! Freddy still loves me!"

            "Who is Freddy?"

            Sailor Moon came in with authority, "Listen, guys…. And girl… I don't know who you are, but you hurt some innocent police officers. Though we appreciate your infiltrating the factory hideout. But I'm afraid the winning streak ends here. You guys and girl are gonna be Moon Dusted!"

            Quatre blinked and looked around, "Who's she calling a girl?!! Duo?!"

            Trowa rolled his eye. Wufei huffed and started babbling something about 'blonde onnas'. Heero sighed and looked away—He didn't want to know him. Duo pointed and laughed at Quatre.

            "What?!" Quatre responded looking around suspiciously.

            Sailor Mercury huffed, "You should be ashamed. That's not very lady-like to go assaulting innocent cops. You're obviously not Sailor Scout material."

            Duo bust out laughing again, "Sailor Quatre!!! Bwhahahahhahahahahaha!!!"

            Sailor Mars insulted, "They are not even worthy opponent material! Let's just smoke'em!!!"

            Wufei intervened with an arrogant tone, "Well if it isn't that onna, Raye! You're far too weak to confront me! Stupid, stupid girl!"

            Raye snapped, "Oh yeah! Well, I-I hate your stupid, silky, raven hair!"

            "….?!?" EVERYONE gawked at Raye, who blushed. Love Jones was taking its toll on the Sailor Scout of Fire's brain….

            "I mean…. I hate your UGLY ponytail!!! You HUGE forehead-freak!!!"

            "Daaaaaaaamn!" Duo laughed out loud. "That HAD to hurt!"

            Heero and Trowa started to shake from their struggle to hide their laughter, as Quatre covered his mouth, poorly blocking the laughter. Wufei trembled with anger…

            "You bitch! I'll make you SUFFER!!!!!!" he yelled as he went hauling towards her ninja-style, full speed.

            "That's gonna be my line!!!! DIIIIIIIIIE!!!!" Raye followed suit and went for Wufei.

            "So it begins…" Trowa uttered just before rocketing two helmets into Sailor Mercury and Sailor Jupiter's face.

            "Hey! That was MY helmet!!!" Quatre yelled at Trowa who just… stared at him.

            "It was fun…. Pure fun…" he replied as if stoned.

            "I call the priss!" Duo joked as he launched his helmet smack dab into Sailor Venus' inattentive face.

            "Goooooofah!!!" Sailor V grunted as she went flying past Sailor Moon.

            "Oh my!" Sailor Moon gasped. She glared at Duo and took out her wand, "You're going down, you hippie-boy--- GAK!!!"

            A helmet went flying into the Moon Princess' back and sent her face first into the ground. Heero was much amused.

            He instantly ordered Duo to 'tend' to Sailor Venus as he stalked over to Sailor Moon. "You're gonna have to do better than that, Usagi."

            After spitting the dirt and grass out of her mouth, Sailor Moon sat up and looked up at Heero who had his trusty gun pointed right between the eyes. She tried to scamper away, but Heero smoothly stepped closer.

            "H-How did you know my name?!" she stuttered. "…Heero Yuy?!?!"

            Heero rolled his eyes. _This is so stupid. THEY ARE NOT INCOGNITO! THEY'RE JUST wearing silly dresses, pleasantly short---- BUT STUPID dresses!!!! THEY'RE NOT EVEN WEARING MASKS!!!!_ He shouted in his mind.

            "You can wear all the tacky, skanky outfits you want--- NO one on this Earth, or in the colonies, would dare wear their hair as stupid as YOU do!"

            "Hey!!! You can't talk about Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon like that!!!! That's MY job!!!" a squeaky voice came crashing through the Perfect Soldier's ear.

            Heero turned around only to see Rini—aka Sailor Mini Moon standing behind him ready to attack with her pink, sparkly wand. He noticed the hair and grumbled, "I stand corrected…. ACK!!!"

            The Perfect Soldier left Sailor Moon open to the perfect counter. A swift kick in the sack sent Heero rolling to the ground in agony…. For like a second.

            Heero instantly returned the assault with a low sweep to Mini Moon and a solid low kick to Sailor Moon's forehead. He then made for his discarded helmet (uh-oh) and socked her dead in the face with it. 

            Sailor Mini Moon recovered and used her Sugar Attack against Heero… which only seemed to piss him off.  Heero stood up and football kicked her across the ground.

            Sailor Moon attacked Heero from behind and fwapped him in the back of the head with her wand…. This also pissed the Perfect Soldier. He retaliated with a knee to the gut. As the Moon Princess keeled over, Heero palm smacked her into the air.

            "AA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AAA-AAA-AYAH!!!" she screamed before crashing into the ground.

            "…I hate Princesses…" he uttered in annoyance.

~~~~~~~~~~

            Quatre suddenly realized the dangers of fighting with females (with or without rapiers)…. Especially if one thinks you ARE a female…

            Sailor Jupiter summoned her Oak Evolution and attacked Pilot 04 to no end. She sent every Thunder Smash whirling his way. Lightning thrashed and clashed all around Quatre.  However, he miraculously dodge, ducked, and jumped out of harm's way.

            "Why is she chasing me!?!?" Quatre yelled missing another bolt of lightning.

            The tall Sailor Scout pursued her victim with a vengeance, "You HUSSY!!! HOOCHIE!!! HARLOT!!!! BLONDE TRASH!!!! I'll show you what happens to bimbos who take my Freddy!!!"

            "I…. Am….NOT…. a girl!!!!" the Sandrock pilot shouted for dear life. "Who the HELL'S Freddy!?"

~~~~~~

            Trowa found himself engulfed in a wall of…. Bubbles?!?!

            "?!?" The HeavyArms pilot shouted in stupor. He couldn't see squat. He could, however hear his fellow, blonde pilot screaming, shouting, and running like the Dickens…. (?!?!)

            Meanwhile, Sailor Mercury's strategy was working as planned. She's the fastest of the 5 Inner Scouts. She would dash, whir, and dizzy the tall pilot. Then she would freeze him solid with her Deep Freeze Attack!!!!

            It's SO perfect. Now for the finale----

            But before Sailor Mercury could dart past Trowa for the final time, he caught her by the face and held her up, lifting her WAY off the ground.

            "MMMrph?!?" she sounded.

            "…..Peek-A-Boo…." Trowa jested before launching her into the air. 

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYhhhhhhh!!!!!!"

~~~~~~~

            Sailor Jupiter finally decided that the blonde skank was just too, worthless to cast her great powers upon…. So she decided to kill her with her bare hands. She made a mad dash for Quatre and caught him in a tackle.

            "You're gonna pay for breaking me and Freddy up!!!!" She growled yanking his head back by his hair. "In your face, Blondie----OOOOOOphAAA!!!!"

            The rear of the Blue-Haired Sailor Scout landed right on target: Sailor Jupiter.

            How Trowa knew the locale of Jupiter, the schematics to throw where and how---- WHO KNOWS. He's freaky like that. 

            Quatre crawled out from under the two Sailor Scouts by the help of Trowa who just shoved them aside with his foot. He was much thankful for the save, for he was running out of places to run, with chaos ensuing everywhere else…

            "Thanks, Friend Trowa!!!" he cheered in his usual happy tone.

            "…."

            Quatre glanced over towards Wufei who was in brutal combat with Sailor Mars. "Oh no! Looks like trouble! We should help---"

            "…." Trowa disagreed stepping in front of Quatre.

            "…..but—"

            "…..!!!" he yelled with a stern voice. "….." he added with a cool tone.

            "Okay…."

~~~~~~~~~~

            Wufei dodged yet another fireball attack by Sailor Mars. He countered with a nasty mid kick to the gut sending her to the ground. Pilot 05 tried to land upon her face with a heel, but Sailor Mars rolled to the side and swept him. Wufei landed with a thud, but he instantly flipped to his feet.

            Sailor Mars did the same. She charged him and sucker punched the Wu-Man across the face! Wufei was sent to the ground--- head first. Before Sailor Mars could add to the attack, he pulled his body up and back-kicked her in the tummy knocking her back a few feet.

            Wufei spun around in a flip and blocked a roundhouse to the kidney from Sailor Mars. Wufei Chang decided to counter and went for the spear----- GOLDBERG!!!!!!!! 

            He rammed into her chest head and shoulder first, knocking Sailor Mars WAY back….

            However, this attack was expected.

            Sailor Mars AMAZINGLY kept on her feet, clutching Wufei's sides for support. Soon she had his head and shoulder under her chest. After that she used all her Sailor strength to spin him around and pile drived him into the ground….

            Booyah!

~~~~~~~

            "Oh Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!" Trowa and Quatre exclaimed, watching in amazement.

~~~~~

            "BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" 

            Even though Duo was hot and heavy…. In a fight….. He still had time to get his laugh on at the cost of anybody! 

            "Venus Love Chain Attack!!!!" Mina shouted as she lashed the impervious chain of golden hearts around Duo's waist and slung him into Heero… who was pistol-whipping Usagi to no end!

            "Hn…." Heero grunted, he aimed and shot Sailor Venus in the knee cap. "….twit…"

            Duo scurried out of Heero's way as he went back to finishing Sailor Moon.

~~~~~~~~

            "Moon Tiara Attack!!!!" Sailor Moon called out as she sent her head ornament soaring. The projectile sliced into Heero's knee, he staggered. "Bingo!!!"

            "Grrrrrrr...You die now..." Heero sounded coldly. He snatched the tiara out of his thigh and tossed it aside, without even looking at it, and went after Sailor Moon. "Omae O Kuroso!"

            Duo covered his eyes from a short distance in fret, " Oh gawd…. This isn't gonna be pretty…."

            Heero pulled out ANOTHER handgun from nowhere and smacked her to the ground. He took aim….

            "Dude….you pulled that from where?" Duo questioned scratching his head.

            "Damned if I know…." He responded. He didn't have a clue either. He cocked the gun-------

            Suddenly a rose a single red rose went slashing against his hand, knocking the gun out of grip. Then another rose speared right into Heero's chest. Heero stumbled back a little before catching a glimpse of the attacker.

            "Hn?"

            Heero was suddenly tackled to the ground by Sailor Moon and Mini Moon. Mini Moon finally returned from where Heero had kicked her. (Yay)

            Duo freaked out, "Holy shit! A rose!!! Jeez! Heero are you okay?"

            "No problem…" Heero instantly tossed both Sailor Scouts off. Then he yanked the rose stem out of his chest…. "That stung a bit. It still had thorns."

            Duo was feeling nauseous, "Oh….my….gawd… T-That thing was lodged in your heart---- **URP!!!" He ran some distance away.**

            As the God of Death turned in to the Lord of Vomit, Sailor Moon and Mini Moon called out to their rescuer.

            "Oh Tuxedo Mask you've returned!!! We need your help!!!"

            "Hn?!?!"

            "W-who's THAT loser?" Duo snubbed as he regained composure and cool points.


	5. Chapter 5: And the BEAT goes Down….

**Chapter 5: And the BEAT goes Down….**

"You're gonna get it now, you Nega Trash!" Luna snarled at Duo. "He's the true Guardian Prince of Earth: Tuxedo Mask!!!"

            "….?!?" Heero sounded. _Oh, that's intimidating. More ass-kicking fodder._

            "Trash!!!" Duo huffed. "I am the GOD of Death. The Great Shinagami! The Walking Can of Whoop-ASS--- AND you have the NERVE to call me TRASH!!!!?!?"

            He grabbed the black cat and launched the feline straight at Tuxedo Mask as he approached the battle area with his goofy monologue about the Sailor Scouts to never give up hope and some junk. "Punk Ass-----BASTARD!!!"

            "GWOK!!!" The caped dork sounded as the cat smashed into his face.

            "**YEAH**, **BEOTCH**!!!! That's what I think of your Tuxedo Mask!!! Ha!!!" Duo switched around and spotted Artemis making a run for it. "OH yeah! Double or nothing!!!!"

            He circled around the white cat and served a kick to the animal worthy of a soccer ball player. The cat went soaring through the air and crashed into Tuxedo Mask, just as he was removing Luna from his face.

            "GWaaaaaaaah!!!!" the Guardian Prince of the Moon sounded.

            "Booyah!" Duo exclaimed.

            Heero couldn't help but to laugh at the event, "…..ha…." he chuckled at a low decibel. Then all of a sudden he went back into Perfect Mode and went after Sailor Moon.

            Even though she was wounded, Sailor Venus knew it was up to her to stop the inhumane boy from killing the Princess. She gathered her strength and summoned one of her greatest attacks…. "Venus Shower---"

            "INTERCEPTION!!!!!" Duo yelled in sadistic joy as he snuck up from behind and clotheslined her!!!

            "Pegasus! Oh Pegasus!!!! Please grant us your power!!!!" Mini Moon implored, calling forth her magical frin. "Please kill that psycho boy and his mean friends for me!"

            A blinding light distracted everyone and the silence was broken by the neighs of a beautiful, white, winged unicorn. He trotted alongside Sailor Mini Moon, who pointed at Heero, then the beast went charging towards him.

            "…." Heero glared in disbelief. He took out---yet--- another gun and aimed. "A horse…. A gawd...damn horse is coming after me….. could this get any more… goofy." He voiced at a low, robotic tone.

            Trowa stepped in the way.

            "Out of my way, Trowa."

            "Why don't you tend to the bleeding hole in your chest, and let me deal with the horse."

            Heero glanced down and noticed the gaping hole the thorned rose had left in him and grumbled, "…..fine." he walked off and went to the medical kit (gift from **nurse **Trowa) in his Wing Zero. "…damnit!"

            "Don't worry, with the priss out of commission, I'll deal with Sailor Moon and Mini Moon." Duo smiled as he waved to Heero, who was stalking out of the battle area to repair himself. "I'll make sure you're not disturbed while you stitch yourself up…hm?" Duo got nauseous again as he noticed The Perfect Soldier pulling out a large curved needle and thread from the med kit and going to work.. on himself. "…..oh dear gawd."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Back to the Wrestlmania action with Wufei and Raye…

            "You silly onna!!! You think you can stop ME!!!" Wufei yelled as he tossed the brunette overhead, crashing her into the trunk of a nearby tree. "I'll show you why onnas should stay at home and bake pies!!!!"

            Sailor Mars went back on her feet and threw a large rock at Wufei hitting him in the arm, missing the face. "Bitch!! I'll have YOU making pies!!! You stupid…. Stupid…. Pie head!!!"

            "Pie head?!?!" Wufei insulted, "What are you thinking about?!? Such lame remarks could ONLY come from an onna----AAAACK!!!"

            Suddenly Sailor Mars was on his chest and choking the life out of him as she continuously smashed the back of his head into the ground. Soon she was met with a head butt to the nose courtesy of the Angry One himself. She also received a knee to the gut and toss off. Wufei flipped to his feet and grabbed Sailor Mars by the leg and spun her around.

            "This is a gift from me to you, THUNDER-Thigh Onna!!!" he shouted as he released his grip and sent her hurling into another tree trunk.

            "Mars Fire Arrow!!!" Mars screamed as she sent forth a flaming arrow past Wufei and into a tree.

            "Onna, you missed! Stupid Onna MISSED me!!! Hahahaha----- oh?!"

            She aimed right. The tree looming behind Wufei was very old and weak. The right impact could send it falling….

            "OOOh, no!!!! Wu-Bear!!!!" Sailor Mars called out, realizing that the weight of the old tree could kill the chauvinistic prick. She got up and raced towards him.

Wufei was too stunned to move, not to mention to realize that his opponent, and onna at that, had saved him. He shoved Sailor Mars off of him and yelled, "What do you think you're doing, onna! I was gonna die fighting like a true warrior!!! I can't be SAVED BY AN ONNA!"

            Sailor Mars, who only wanted to show that she did like him, was fumed at his reaction. All she could do was scream at the top of her lungs, pick him up by his ponytail and toss him across the field. "You JERK!!!!"

~~~~~~~

            What was the Silencer getting into??!? Pegasus had already empowered Sailor Moon and Mini Moon to Super Mode. The magical beast then changed his focus to Trowa. He was planning to spear the Unibanged One….

            Who just stood there with his hand extended.

            Duo had just finished tossing Sailor Venus into a steel drum, when he noticed Trowa's odd(er) behavior.

            "oOoOoOoH Nooooooooo!" Sailor Venus yelled as she suddenly rolled down a sloped area of the clearing and into a ravine---**SPLAT!!!**

            "Hey Trowa, there's a huge winged unicorn charging towards you…. You know that right?"

            Trowa ignored him.

            "Dude!!! It's not one of those lions!!! It's not gonna purr and cuddle with you! It's gonna kill you! And probably eat you!"

            "????" Trowa responded. "How about attacking the two Sailor Scouts that are sneaking up behind you…" he added.

            "Huh?!" Sure enough Super Sailor Moon and Mini Moon were sneaking up behind Duo ready to attack. "WHOA!!!" Trowa never left his sights from the charging winged unicorn as Duo started yelling, "Get'em off!!! Hoochies!!!! AAAAAyyh!"

            Meanwhile, Pegasus went from death charge to a slow fancy gallop towards Trowa. It was love at first sight. Pegasus approached the pilot's hand and nuzzled his head against it. The winged horse even started to purr…..?!?!?!?

            Quatre smiled as he watched Trowa from afar, "He's made another friend!" 

            "What the Hell!?!? Horses don't purr!!!" Duo shouted from under the fight cloud Sailor Moon and Mini Moon were making, totally missing their true target.

            "**EVERYthing** purrs for me." Trowa smiled. "I'm da bomb."

            "….WHATever, man, whatever."

            The magical creature began encircling Trowa, neighing happily and uhm--- purring. Sailor Mini Moon was devastated and cried out:

            "Pegasus!!! Noooooo!!! You're MY FRIN!!!!"

            The unicorn glared at the pink haired child and grunted, "I don't like you anymore. You hair is stupid!"

            "….." Trowa agreed as he petted Pegasus and gave it some oats….

            "Where the Hell did those come from!?!" Duo yelled out.

            "A soldier must be prepared for EVERYTHING." Heero spoke out, making his return from Time Out. He took out a bag of oats from nowhere as well and tossed them to Trowa, "Have my supply…"

            "You two are SO weird!" Duo sighed as he followed Heero's lead towards Sailor Moon and Mini Moon. "Whenever you're ready, ladies!"

            "Hmph! We'll teach you not to mess with OUR tuxedo mask!!!!"

            Super Sailor Moon and her adorable sidekick stood their ground as Heero Yuy and his adorable sidekick got ready to throw 'bows'…. (roll them 'bows…).

~~~~~~~~~

            Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Mercury jumped to their feet and went charging at Quatre. He quickly dodged the assault, causing them to run right past him. Quatre served a good swift kick to the bum of Sailor Mercury. She went face first into a nearby poison ivy bush. 

            Infuriated, Sailor Jupiter spun around and punched Quatre square in the gut, knocking him to the ground. She then got ready to do a ground punch to Quatre, who rolled to the side and kicked her in the kidney with both legs.

            Quatre got up and got ready to retreat, but he was met by a very angry and itchy Sailor Mercury. She quickly launched an ice attack at the Sandrock pilot. He ducked, picked up a stick and flung it at her. Sailor Mercury went flying back into the same bush.

            Then Sailor Jupiter was about to attack the unsuspecting Quatre from behind when suddenly----

            A-aAaYH?!?!" the tall Sailor Scout choked as she found herself impaled with Pegasus' golden horn. "B—but….."

            Pegasus hoisted the Sailor Scout of Thunder off her feet and slung her aside. He then went back to Trowa's side and circled around him, totally entranced by the tall pilot's coolness.

            "Oh…. That looked painful…." Quatre mumbled as he fixed his hair. "Thank you, Trowa's friend."

            The unicorn began to neigh joyfully as he followed Trowa and Quatre.

            "…."

            "You're gonna keep it?!

            "…"

            "What will Miss Catherine say?"

            "….It doesn't matter what Cathy has to say…. I like the horse. I am keeping the horse."

            "aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArgh!!!!! I'll get you AAAAALL for killing my friend!!!!" screamed a very angry, AND DOUBLELY itchy Sailor Mercury. She made a mad dash towards Quatre… only to be blocked by Trowa and Pegasus. She was armed with a stick as well.

            "Oh my gosh, she's got a nasty rash!!!! If she touches us we're finished!!!!"

            "….?!" Trowa stared at his pal for a minute just before catching Sailor Mercury by the stick she was wielding and shoved her towards Pegasus. "Do it!"

            As Sailor Mercury went staggering backwards she didn't notice she was heading towards a nasty counterattack by way of Pegasus. The delicate, white beast suddenly mule kicked her top half of her body clean off!!!

            "!!!!" Trowa and Quatre.

            "I didn't see that coming…" Quatre spoke as he suddenly started to laugh demonically. "She was a bad person and deserved it didn't she Trowa?!"

            "…..riiiiiiiiiight, Quatre. Whatever you say, fella….." Trowa feigned as he slowly stepped away from Pilot 04. 

His escape was hindered, however, by the other half of Sailor Mercury's body landing right next to him, making a bloody thud. **"!!!!!*GURFG*?!?!?" he gagged as he went running towards a nearby, non-poisonous bush…..**

"Oh no!!! Trowa!!!!? What's wrong!!!!" Quatre called out chasing after Trowa, Pegasus was in pursuit.

~~~~~~~~~

Over at Wufei's corner: The enflamed brawl still continues…. Well sort of

            Both battered and bloodied. Both worn and tired. Both strangely intrigued with each other.

            Sailor Mars staggered over to Wufei and stepped on his butt, in an attempt to kick him. Dizzy, she collapsed to the ground with a plop landing on her own bottom. 

            "I…..I….. I'm just……g-g-getting…..warmed………..up….."

The Exhausted Dragon snatched up some grass, with the little ounce of strength he had left and tossed it at her,hitting her in the eye. 

"…….stooooooopid……oo-o-o-o-n-naaaaaa…..uhhhh…"

He suddenly loss consciousness and went to la-la land face first into the grass. The Overheated Sailor Scout of Fire just fell back and went to the zany place as well….

~~~~~~~

            Back to the Battle of the Leaders and Sidekicks!!!!

            S.S. Moon smacked Heero in the face with her brand new angel wings and back kicked him in the groin….. ALL by accident as she tripped over the extra material of her now over-decorated Sailor uniform. She followed the attack by falling on her face.

            "OW!!!!! My groin!!!!!"

            Duo was being assaulted by SS Mini Moon as she yanked him back by the infamous braid and dragged him across the ground.

            "OW!!!! My braid!!!!!"

            Heero landed a hard boot to the head of S.S. Moon and gave the ditz a D.D.T as a bonus. She rolled to her feet and served a Moon Crisis Beam Arrow!!!! It missed as Heero managed to bend backwards and dodge to projectile Matrix-style (cue the music!), slo-mo and everything!

            "Are you human?!?" S.S. Moon whined in disbelief.

            "You have poor aim." He spoke before zooming towards her grabbing her by the leg and slinging her in to the large foot of his Wing Zero---**CLANK****!!!!**

~~~~~~~~~

            Duo was losing control. He was also losing to a kindergartner with pink hair. The little rat stood there laughing as he tried to shake his lovely hair free from the dirt, twigs, and large bugs that had encased themselves while he was being dragged….

            But to no avail…..

            "**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! MY HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"** he roared to the top of his lungs causing everybody to freeze and cower in fear….

            "Oh shit…." Heero muttered as he took cover inside the cockpit of Wing Zero.

            Quatre clutched his head and cried, "My Heart! MY soul!!! My hair----"

            Trowa yanked Quatre along as he took refuge behind a tree, "Will you shut-up!!!"

            Wufei just laid there and played dead…. "Please, Nataku, protect me from his wrath….. Please….." he prayed.

~~~~~~~~~~~

            "**I'M GONNA KILL YOOOOOOOOU!!!!!"**

            S.S. Mini Moon stuck out her tongue and called out, "Moon Heart Att---------OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVPHA!!!!!!" 

The miniature pink beam never made it out of the wand because the God of Death picked up Small Lady balled her body up and spiked her into Tuxedo Mask……

Who was recovering from having cats in his face, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

But the assault didn't end there. The impact of the hit not only sent Tuxedo Mask and the cats flying into a nearby steel drum…..!??!?!(wtf?), but it caused the Small Lady to bounce off of them and soar back into the air. She finally landed upon the asphalt of a nearby road… several miles away----**SPLAT****!!!!!**

Duo collapsed, after going ape shit over his hair, he was drained. S.S. Moon was steaming. She got to her feet and went after Duo to kill him with her bare hands!!!

"I'm going to kill you with my bare hands on behalf of the Moon!!! I will----"

**BANG!!!**

"….die." Heero smirked, he sniped Sailor Moon from behind….. Right between the eyes. "…I am so damn good..." Heero babbled to himself as he strolled over to Duo. He nudged him with his boot, "You there: Get up."

Quatre rushed over to Duo helping him to his feet. Trowa walked over to Heero, with his new pet.

"….What are you gonna do with that?!" Heero asked

"…"

"What will Catherine say?"

"It doesn't matter what Cathy has to say. I'm keeping it."

"…."

"…!"

"…?"

Quatre intervened Heero and Trowa's Dot Fest and called out, "Hey! There's still another Sailor Scout left… but, where's Wufei??!"

Trowa coughed, trying not to laugh, "…."

Heero's eyes bugged out, "Wufei and the target are doing WHAT?!?!"

Duo snapped back to normal mode and chanted, "Voyeur-Time! Voyeur-Time! Voyeur-Time! Tra-la-la!!!"

Heero glared at Duo and the others, "Well tell them to stop for gawd's sake! This is a mission. We don't have time to go knocking boots!!!!"

Everybody started laughing.

"Heero's jealous!!! Heero's jealous!!!" 

"Shut-Up, Duo!!!" Heero snapped.

"What do you mean? He's got Relena!" Quatre revealed. "I think he wants to kiss her."

"Shut-Up, Quatre! I do not like her!!!!"

"….."

"Shut-Up, Trowa! I told you, I don't remember what happened after the party. So it doesn't count!!!"

"Riiiiiight!" The other three voiced as they followed Heero in his search for Wufei.


	6. Chapter 6: Who's Gonna Clean this Mess?!...

**Chapter 6: Aftermath--Who's gonna clean this mess?!**

Wufei and Sailor Mars apparently had some strange sadomasochistic attraction to each other. It seems as thought their flying kicks, the clotheslines, the punches, the hair pulling; body slams were methods of displaying their affections…. Ow!

            "When he punched me in the neck, I knew he was the one for me. He is my true love…." Sailor Mars swooned as she and Wufei stared at each other with puppy dog eyes.

            "I love when she slammed my head into the ground and kicked me in the ribs, she's so cute." Wufei cooed as he and his beloved touched noses.

            "….this is so gross…." Duo mumbled. "I'm starting to feel---URP!"

            The rest of the Gundam pilots just stared in a state of duh.

            Heero questioned her, keeping his aim at the lone Sailor Scout, "We just murdered your friends over there and stole your horse. And you don't care?"

            Sailor Mars folded her arms and pouted, "I never liked those skanks anyway! They are SO weak and silly! I'd make a much better leader than the meatball head- ANYday! They just prance and say stupid speeches. I've always wanted to just kill! Y'know!? Kick ass first---"

            "And take names?" Quatre finished.

            "Who cares about names? Kick ass first and kick ass some more."

            "Hn…" Heero nodded. _Potential, indeed._ He thought.

            Trowa nodded in agreement.

            Wufei and Sailor Mars embraced each other again. "Isn't she the cutest? They underestimated her destructive power. All she wants to do is kill. Isn't she great! I love her so much!!!" he smiled.

            "How scary…." Duo gulped. "Oh man cupid just kicked Wu's ass!"

            "Wufei, I'll admit, she's loveable, but no one can know about the Gundams or us…"

            The other pilots just stared at him.

            Heero stared back, "….w-what?"

            Duo burst out, "YOU of all pilots!!!"

            "You still haven't sniped Relena, and she was the first to see you--- on the first day you landed here!" Trowa announced

            "Who told you?!"

            Trowa looked over at Quatre who just smiled, "She told me at the Sanq Kingdom."

            "She knew his name by like the second day. 'Because you attended the same school she did! She probably told all your business to her fan club in class…." Duo added. "What an ass! Bwahahahahahaha!!!"

            "The onna knew your name on the second day?! I don't think she's ever seen what Trowa and I look like!" Wufei defended. "Besides if Trowa can keep a flying horse…

            "That talks…." Pegasus added.

            "Yeah, that talks, then why can't I keep Sailor Mars!!!?"

            Heero was about to take aim and shoot the damn horse. Then he realized, he maybe perfect, but he IS outnumbered. Trowa, Quatre, and Pegasus gave a Triple Death Glare….

            "….Don't….. Try…… Me." Trowa warned. 

            "Outer space will **NEVER** forgive you." Quatre whimpered, which caused the loss of major cool points, but with the random post-outer-Zero system attacks….he's really not the one to mess with.

            "The humane society will have your ass!" Pegasus added.

            "HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAA!!!! Heero's gonna get triple teamed." Duo joked.

            Heero dropped the gun (he'll get another one), and marched towards his only friend, Wing Zero. "FINE! I give up! I'm going to bed…."

            "YAY!!!!" Wufei and Raye Sailor Mars cheered before going into another smooch fest for all to see.

            The other 3 pilots walked off. Pegasus followed behind Trowa.

~~~~~~~~

            Later that night all the pilots were ready to go. Trowa had ordered Pegasus to follow him to the circus (Wonder what Catherine's gonna say… no really...). Quatre received a call from Rashid; he & the other Maguanacs were VERY pissed that he left without telling them (Oh bother). Wufei was rearing to go with Raye, formerly Sailor Mars, perched upon his lap (Wonder what Sally's gonna do…. Dear gawd).

            Meanwhile, the God of Death was combing the hell out of his hair, promising himself a serious hair washing session back at L2….

            On top of that, Duo got stuck with get-Wing Zero-off-it's-back-duty (DAMN those huge angel wings!!!) before he could leave. Heero was the last to depart this forsaken planet, because he had to scrub the pink and sparkly dust from the cockpit of his Gundam. 

It was the ONLY effective attack from Sailor Moon…. Gawd rest her blonde soul. Man, did it leave a mess. Heero Yuy can't go riding out with pink in his cockpit; Relena will go crazy over him for sure.

"Better take this to Howard for repairs…" Heero muttered to himself as he scrubbed furiously at the interior. "…crazy bitch!"

**_MUCH LATER THAT NIGHT…._**

A group of three approached the scene of horror!!!!

            Sailor Uranus, followed by Sailor Neptune and Sailor Pluto was totally grossed out by what they saw. A SCENE OF HORROR!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA-----sorry. Sailor Jupiter seemed to be stabbed. Sailor Moon appeared to be sniped. Earlier the came across Sailor Mini Moon, who looked like pink road kill, lying splattered on the roadside. 

Darian was asphyxiated by the bodies of the Lunar cats…. ALL were shoved in a steel drum?!?! They Outer Scouts located Sailor Venus over a nearby cliff; they knew it was her by her long blonde hair sticking out of the steel drum…. Another steel drum?!?!?

            "What kind of freak did this?!?!?" Sailor Uranus exclaimed feeling very ill. She noted Sailor Pluto's expression as she stared elsewhere. "What else did you find?!!"

            Sailor Pluto found Sailor Mercury…. Or at least half of her, "Urgh---You DON'T want to know…."

            "Well I found the other half….. GRRRGGGGH!!!" Sailor Neptune gagged looking at the lower, gory half of Sailor Mercury. She took off running towards a nearby bush….

            "Sweetie!?!" Sailor Uranus called out and chased after her.

            Minutes later….

            "I don't understand. If this was the work of the Nega Verse or Nega Moon--- then how come the Earth isn't doomed?!?" Sailor Uranus pondered aloud. "Sailor Moon and Small Lady were this planet's only hope for a safe future…."

            Sailor Neptune sniffled and added, "Now that they're gone….." She started to cry, "What are we gonna do?"

            Sailor Pluto sighed. Then she realized something or someone was missing, "Uhm, I noticed something…"

            "Hmm?!" the lovers sounded.

            "Sailor Mars is missing."

            "That isn't good. She was probably kidnapped." Sailor Uranus figured.

            Sailor Neptune arched her brow and asked, "Why not Sailor Moon or Small Lady?! They are the Princess and future princess."

            Sailor Uranus folded her arms and admitted, "Come on, you and I BOTH know Mars would make a WAY better leader than Usagi--- I mean she's cute, but cute don't make a badass."

            "…. Yeah……" Sailor Pluto and Sailor Neptune confessed. "They probably thought she was the leader….

            "We have no other choice but to go back in time and resurrect the Inner Scouts." The Sailor Pluto uttered grimly.

            "You're right!" Sailor Uranus agreed.

            "We also have to revive the ADULT Sailor Scout of Death----Sailor Saturn…" Sailor Pluto added gravely.

            "The Hell you say?!?" Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune gasped.

            "We have NO other choice or chance against these enemies! They wasted the scouts and kidnapped perhaps the baddest one of the group! I don't know about you but I want some SERIOUS backup!" Sailor Pluto protested. "Trust me. It'll work out! That's why I am the Sailor Scout of Time!"

            "You're also the oldest…." Sailor Neptune added slyly.

            "WHAT?!"

            "Oh n-nothing ma'am!"

            "Well… let's get started…." Sailor Uranus gruffed looking around. "Someone's gotta clean this mess." She gawked at the other two scouts and asked, "Well?!"

            "I'm NOT cleaning this up!!!"

            "Me neither…"

            "Bitches…."

            "What-ever, cry me a river."


	7. Chapter 7: Remote Madness!!!

**Chapter 7: Remote Madness**

            It's been several weeks since the Sailor Slaughter fest and all was well with the world. The GW Boys had just returned from another major and USEFUL mission. This had SOMETHING to with OZ. That was fun. They decided to hang out in outer space, within the comforts of the PeaceMillion. This made approaching assignments much easier.

            However, it was a BITCH to acquire some decent food. It's not like they can up to a drive thru in a Gundam. It was definitely attract attention. So the adults aboard the spaceship decided to come up with an idea of their own…

            "Hey, kids!" Howard smiled as he strolled in the rec room. "The guys and I are kinda hungry."

            Heero gave Howard a glare from the side as he continued to brood by the window, "So?"

            "How's about going to a burger joint and pick up some grub!"

            Duo was busy playing Project Justice (good, stupid fun) on the Dreamcast. He was losing terribly to Trowa--- who was winning Perfects in EVERY round. 

            "Yo!!! You are distracting me! Can't you see I'm getting my play on----DAMNNIT, another PERFECT?!?!"

            "…." Trowa bragged.

            Howard sighed, "Come on boys! Let's not be so stubborn." He slowly pulled a remote control out of his tacky shirt pocket. "Boys?"

            "No." Trowa protested. He boasted softly, "This is the 50th Perfect in a row—Hyo and I are unstoppable…."

            Duo returned with an insult and threat selecting yet another potential sacrifice, "Alright Cyclops! You'll get it now--- I got Roy!!! Come on Baby!!!!"

            Quatre was by the window, way across from Heero. He was painting a nearby colony on canvas. He loved his work. "It's so… tre' cute!!!" He rubbed his tummy and began to complain, totally oblivious to the world, "Drat! I could go for some cookies right about now."

            "DUDE, Shut-the-Hell-Up!!!!" Duo yelled. "Howard's trying to get us on caterer duty!!!"

            "…..!!!" Trowa yelled.

            "Hn…!!!" Heero cursed.

            Quatre was scared senseless. He suddenly lost his appetite and continued to paint, "Phew, must've been another Zero System attack or something. I'm not hungry! I want to continue painting."

            Howard started to press buttons on the remote, Heero noticed but figured he was reprogramming the memory. He continued to brood.

            "Food's on me!" Howard spoke in a last attempt to have the boys _willingly_ go for grub.         

            Heero's perfect mind wandered for a short while, "Ugh! Get out of here, you crazy old man!" Everyone stared at him. "…..hn…"

            Seconds later, Sally Po stormed in. She made her way to the table where Wufei and Raye were having yet another tongue hockey session. When they FINALLY noticed her there, they ended the game.

            "Uh…. Hi,Sally." Wufei greeted, in TOTAL fear.

            "Get food---NOW!!" Sally ordered. She, too, took out a remote, and placed her hands on her hips.

            Wufei stood straight up and nodded, "Yes, ma'am!"

            Raye snatched him down and shouted, "What are you doing? You're MY guy!! Tell that trick to get her own grub!!!"

            Sally responded, "Why don't you make yourself useful and go with him!!!"

            Raye stood up, ready to jump over the table, and threatened, "Why don't you mind your damn business, you witch, before I torch those croissants on the sides of your head!!!"

            "!!!!"

~~~~~

            Sensing something bad was about to happen, Quatre stopped painting and quietly made for the door across the room. Trowa just stopped playing the game and took refuge to low ground and crawled under the cafeteria-styled table. Duo just dropped the controller and RAN--- trampling Quatre.

            "Ow!!! My heart!!! MY SOUL! My----"

            Duo snatched Quatre up and dragged him along, "Walk it off!!!!"

~~~~~

            "What did you SAY!?!?!" Sally screeched in ire.

            Wufei tried to calm Raye down as she got ready to climb over the table. She jabbed him in the stomach, sitting him down, instead.

            "YOU'RE just jealous that I have Wuffie---- AND YOU DON'T!!!! YOU HO!!!"

            Sally fumed, "YOU SKANK BITCH!!! I'LL MOP THE FREAKING FLOOR WITH YOUR DULL HAIR AND FAT HEAD!!!!"

            "WHAT YOU SAY!??!!!"

~~~~~~~~

            At that moment, Heero bolted from the window and made the only escape he could, the AC vent next to him. During which, Wufei took refuge, under the table, he bumped into Trowa.

            "….!" The Lanky Lad hissed.

            Wufei hissed back, "Listen Jolly-Green-Eyed-Giant, I'm taking this spot, too! So MOVE it!!!"

            Wuffie---er Wufei and Trowa made for the next exit nearest to them, across from the table. It was the only way to avoid getting caught in the nasty catfight that was about to go down.

            "What now!!!! Huh?!!!! You better get that remote out of my face you------AAAAAAAAAAAyyh!!!!!"

**ZAP!!!**

            Wufei glanced back only to see his boo was gone. He poked his head from under the table only to see Sally with a remote pointing straight at him.

            "Sally, what are you----AAAAACK!!!! This is Inj----"

**ZIPPO!!!**

            "!!!" Trowa yelled in shock. He saw Pilot 05 get blasted into nothingness. Trowa scrambled down the hallway towards the exit. Just as he emerged from under the table he was confronted by Howard, who jumped in front of the door ready to zap him. "….. oh shi---"

**POOF!!!**

            "Man, these laser teleportation remotes are great!" Howard grinned.

            Sally smirked in annoyance, "You made them, Howard. Now to get the others!!!"

            "Right!!!"

~~~~~~~~~

            Quatre and Duo raced down the corridor to claim their trusty Gundams. They could hear Howard and Sally closing in.

            Then Quatre stopped, "Oh migosh!!! Trowa!!!! I can't believe I left him!!!!"

            Duo breathed, "He's fine!!! Let's haul it!!!"

            "He's calling me…. "

            Duo sighed and muttered under his breath, "…not this again…."

            "He's so terrified….. he's surrounded by cows…. "

            "What??!!?"

            "He's scared of cows…."

            "Cows?!?"

            "He thinks they're gonna eat him….."

            The voices and clamoring steps of Howard and Sally disrupted Quatre's Space heart connection thingie, and the two Pilots found themselves running for dear life again.

~~~~~~~

            From the safety of the AC shafts, Heero spotted Sally and Howard in hot pursuit of Quatre and Duo. They didn't notice the Wing Zero Pilot's uncanny escape through the AC vent. It maybe freezing cold up here, but it was a lot better than playing caterer or having to break up a catfight….

            _Damn I'm good._ He thought to himself as he continued to make his way within the AC shafts.

* * * * 

            Milliardo Peacecraft, AKA: Zechs Marquise, had just arrived at the hangar of the Peacemillion. He was of for the weekend and decided to take his woman—Lucrecia Noin—upon her offer to grub.

            Why not? Rations suck! Besides ANYthing would be more enjoyable than hanging with that freaky-looking Dorothy, that funny-looking Cannes, and WORST yet the WHINER Relena.

            As he strolled down the corridor towards the deck he heard some scurrying over head within the AC vents. "Probably a mouse…." He growled with his 'I gargle-with-broken glass-and acid' voice.

            "Zechs…"

            "…. Probably a talking mouse…."

            "It's me, Heero Yuy."

            "…..a talking mouse named----HA!!! I'm just joking. What are you doing up there, Gundam pilot? Relena's not here."

            Heero announced, "Sally and Howard have lost their lollipop minds and are going on a zapping spree. You best watch out for them."

            The Rebel Prince waved his hand in jest, "You must be joking! I have nothing to fear!" he growled vainly. "Noin's my girl! She won't let anything happen to me!"

            "Zechs…"

            "We are like T-I-G-H-T! I got it going on! She's whipped! She's----"

            "She right behind you, Zechs!" Heero breathed in exasperation. "Run, stupid, run!"

            Zechs turned around, sure enough it was his gorgeous sidekick standing there with a funny-looking remote. The Babe-a-licious Brunnete was tapping buttons on it, and Zechs figured she was reprogramming it… 

(?!??!? Don't you need to be in front of the TV to do that??!? DUH!!!).

            "Hey, Noin how are you?" he smiled the perfect smile.

            "Oh Zechs!" She beamed. "It's been 2 weeks, 5 days, 8 hours, 15 minutes, and counting 28, 29, 30 seconds."

            "?!?! Ooo-kay, Babe." he gave a slight….. and worried grin. "So! When do we eat?

            Noin calmly aimed the remote at Zechs and smirked devilishly, "As soon as you pick up the food, Zechs!"

            "Noin!!!  WHAT are you--AAARGH!!!!"

**BZZZZZOOOP!!!!**

            "Kyahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!" Noin cackled.

            Heero hurried down the shaft. "Oh shit!!!" he hissed.

~~~~~

            Quatre and Duo finally made it to the hanger bay. They were surprised to see the Epyon was also stationed here.

            "Wow! Zechs must be here to save us?!" Duo exhaled. "You think?!"

            Quatre leaned against a nearby structure and huffed, "I don't know about all that, but I'm leaving this nut house."

            Duo nodded, "You're right, Quatre. Let's dip!" He climbed up the holding structure that held his precious Deathscythe and opened the cockpit.

            "AHA!" Howard shouted zapping the God of Death.

            "Jeeezus------"

**BZZZAPPO!!!**

            "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!" Quatre screamed. He scratched his head in confusion, "I've got to stop doing that!" He made for the doors only to be blocked by Sally. "Oh gawd!!!!!"

            "Gotcha, Mr. Winner!!!" Sally smirked blasting her remote.

            Quatre screamed like a girl again, dodging the blast. He ran to the men's restroom, opposite of Sally.

            "Damn! I CAN'T GO IN THE MEN'S RESTROOM!!!" Sally yelled in resentment.

            "Why not?! No one's in there." Howard announced as he climbed down.

            "Well…." She blushed. "It's a men's restroom…."

            "???"

~~~~~~~~

            Quatre locked the door and fixed the trash can under the handle to give him more time to escape…. Or prolong the inevitable….

            "I—I--- Don't wanna get zap!!!! I have to find Trowa or Catherine's gonna kill meeeeeee- Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!"

            "Shut-up and climb up here."

            "ACK!!! A talking rat!!!"

            "…" Heero growled. _Not this again_. "It's me Heero!"

            "AAAAACK! A talking rat named Heero---WAAAAAAH!!!!!"

            Enraged, Heero punched the vent cover off, dropped down, and aimed his gun at Quatre. "Are you climbing up here with me or not!"

            "Aaaaack!!! A huge mutant rat that looks like----- Oh, Heero it's you! Thank Allah!!! You saved me!!!" He rushed over to the Perfect Soldier and shook his hand.

            "You scare me…" Heero frowned. "Come on let's go."

~~~~~~

            Howard and Sally came busting in the restroom and starting zapping.

            Noin strolled by and was about to join in, but she realized something. "People, the place is empty." They were too busy shooting up the restroom to hear her. "PEOPLE!!!! THERE IS NO ONE HERE!!!!"

            They stopped shooting staring in amazement at the damage they'd done.

            "The Winner kid ran in here, I saw him!" Sally moaned in aggravation.

            Noin pointed to the AC vents. "He and Heero escaped through there! We can pick them up on the monitors at the control room." She gave a sadistic smirk and added, "And I know just who to call to help us out…..YHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

            "The hell?!" Sally and Howard uttered.


	8. Chapter 8: Relena's here!!!

**Chapter 8: Relena helps!!!**

            _It was a long trip, but it will be worth it._ Relena thought to herself as she arrived at the Peacemillion. She was greeted by Ms. Noin, Sally, and Howard. The Princess was overjoyed to reunite with good people….. _Now onto more important things_:

            "Where's Heero?" she asked…… for the **BILLIONTH** time.

            Howard answered, "Oh he's around here somewhere! He's hanging around with Quatre…"

            "Awww! Quatre's here, too!?" Relena chirped.  "Did he find little frin, Trowa Barton?"

            "Oh yeah. They're buddies! It's all good!" Sally answered for Howard who was on the brink of laughter.

            Howard faked a cough and added, "Oh yeah, The other guys, including your brother went to pick up some food, we're gonna have a blast!"

            "Great! Where's Heero?"

            The stalling was over…

            "Uhm…. Heero's hiding from us…" Sally admitted slightly. "I don't know why---"

            "Where is he?" Relena was getting irked. She wanted her man---NOW!!!!

            "He's in the AC vents with Quatre." Noin sighed.

            "Whaaaaat?! But, there could be talking rats in there?"

            "……?" The 3 adults stared.

            "Out of my way LOSERS!!!" the Pink-Clad Princess snapped, shoving all 3 aside as she made her way through the AC vent. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeero!!! I'm coming to save you! Don't woooooooory!!!!"

@@@

            Suddenly, Heero felt a chill run down his spine, causing him to stop dead in his tracks. It wasn't the fact the AC was put to arctic storm—he can handle the cold---he's the Perfect Soldier---but something BAD was heading his way….

            "Mmmrph!!!" Quatre sounded smashing his face into Heero's rear. "Ewwwwe!!!! DAMNNIT MAN!!! Why'd you stop moving!?!?!"

            Heero ignored the blonde's whining and bitching---- not to mention the accidental assault. He was too concerned with the dreaded voice he heard echoing in the shafts. 

"…..oh gawd, no…." he voiced in dull tone revulsion. "She's here. Relena's here!"

"We have to save---"

"Quiet!!! She'll hear us!" Pilot 01 ordered.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeero!!!!!"

After a near seizure, Heero started to panic. He abruptly began to back up---once again WITHOUT warning his fellow escapee behind him.

"Mmmrph!!!!" Quatre sounded again as Heero's rear went smashing into his face-AGAIN. "Oh gawd!!! You'd better NOT have gas!!! Mmmrph!!! AAAAAAAAACK!!!! Help!!!!!

"Back up, Quatre!!!! Move out of my way!!!! She's coming to get me!!!"

Quatre, while wiping his face replied in ire, "Well, after what happened at the party--- No wonder she's whipped----Mmmmrph!!!!"

"SHUT-UP!!!! Move!!!!"

"Mmmmrph!!!!! Stop hitting me in the face with your ASS!!!!" Quatre started backing up at full speed. He came upon and adjacent tunnel, they'd passed earlier. "Thank Allah!!! I'm outta here!!!"

Heero almost passed the adjacent path and scurried through, following Quatre. 

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeero!!!! I can heeeeeear yoooooou!!!" she called out as she crawled through the AC shaft, following the sounds of Heero's frantic breathing.

The Perfectly Fretful Soldier went clambering at top speed through the crawlspace. "Oh my gawd! I hear her! I can't sound out her location! She's everywhere! She's gonna----Mmmrph!!!!"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiyagh!?!?" Quatre yiped. "What are you doing to my ASS!!!?!"

"What ARE you two doing up there?!" Relena gasped---- thinking bad things. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeero!!! We can work this out, baby. Come to momma!!!"

            "Oh my GAWD!!! Move----Mmmmrph!!!!"

            "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!" Quatre whined. "Stop doing that! I'm crawling as fast as I can----- EEEEP!!!!"

**Back at the Control Room.**

            The 3 adults just gawked at each other. The only thing they could see were dots on the monitor: White dot: Heero. Yellow fuzzy dot: Quatre. Pink Fuzzy dot: Relena. 

            The Pink Dot was gaining on her target. The White Dot was constantly bumping into the Yellow Dot. The Pink Dot was getting closer. The Yellow and White were going nowhere.

            "I DO NOT want to know." Noin uttered in response to Quatre and Heero's rants.

~~~~~~~~`

            Heero was fed up. "If you DO NOT move your ass out of my way…" he had to think up something, "I'll bite the hell out of you!!!!"

            "I am NOT moving until you apologize to me, Heero Yuy." he pouted as he made still in the tiny shaft. "You touched my----"

            "I found you Heeeeeeero!!!!" Relena found Heero, at last, down the adjacent shaft he and Quatre escape through. She can recognize that spandex covered butt from anywhere. "Wow! Have you been working out?"

            "?!??!?" Heero gasped. He was a dead man. Heero was desperate. He snatched Quatre's legs from under him and crawled over him in order to make the big escape through the cooking area's vent. "Outta my way, Blondie!!!!"

            "GRRRK!!! Owww!!!! My heart! My soul!!! My spine! My neck-----" he whined as Heero's heavy body scurried over him. Shortly after he recovered, Relena went racing by on all fours in pursuit of Heero. "Owwwwww!!!!!" he screamed. "My nuts!!!!"

            Heero could hear her closing in. "Quatre hold her off!!!"

            "I feel so much…pain…my..body……my…….ear… my …..my … WAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAaaaaaH!!!!"

            "You….. dork!!!" Heero hissed . He forgot about that option when he popped the AC vent open, and went for the drop-----" Hn?!?!" Before he could flip down from the vent Relena had grabbed hold of his feet and began to pull him up. Heero was over a stove and some utensils. He desperately went for the carving knife! "Oh damn!!! Let me go!!!!!"

            "Don't panic, Heero! I got you, Pumpkin!!!" Relena assured him, totally ignoring the fact that he's making unsuccessful swipes and slashes at her. "Noin and the others gave me this remote thingie!" She aimed it at Heero. "Maybe this will help!"

            "Oh my gawd the remote!!!! Let me go!!!! You freak!!! The judge said 5000ft or more! Including outer space!!!!!"

            Relena corrected him, "It didn't say anything about AC vents and shafts, Heero." After dodging yet another slash from Heero, Relena added, "But I thought after that party we were over that?"

            Heero stopped struggling and glared at her, "You drugged me didn't you?"

            "Uhm….. oops! So those weren't cold medicine tablets….." Relena blushed nervously and pressed the button. "Tee-Hee!"

**Zzzzzzzzzzip****!**


	9. Chapter 9: Boys go get'um Food!!!

**Chapter 9: GW Team+2 go get'em food!!!**

Heero landed on an unsuspecting Duo,  who was in the middle of stuffing an unconscious truck driver into a steel drum.

            "Ow! Heero!?" he yelled pushing the Wing Pilot off his head. "Man, you need to work off some of that weight!"

            "Hn?" he replied rubbing his bum and wandering around Duo, babbling in disbelief, "I can't believe she got me…I can't believe she drugged me at the party. Dear gawd, what did she make me do?"

            "You probably don't want to know." Duo suggested.

            "You're probably right." Heero nodded. "So where are we and where the others?"

            Wufei climbed down from a tree and strolled over to Pilots 01 and 02. "She got you too, Heero?"

            "No, Relena zapped him." Duo snickered, dodging a swift, back hand by Heero.

            "How pathetic!" Wufei sighed. "Onnas are dangerous…."

            Heero nodded in agreement and looked around the environment. The stolen Mack truck was the only reminder of civilization, besides the road. He noticed a far off farm with cows. _Trowa hates cows._ He remembered. _He says they'll eat him. Better be careful. _He concluded. Masses of tall trees, on both sides of the road, littered the asphalt with pine needles and oak leaves. A soft breeze came by, soothing Heero's nerves. _This is nice, so peaceful, so_… Then he smelled the manure. _Stank._

            "I hate this place! I will kill EVERYONE on the Peacemillion…."

            "Take a number." Wufei retorted.

            Duo successfully kicked the steel drum down the conveniently sloped road and smiled, "Okay, let' take this guy's truck and head to town!"

            Wufei glared at Duo, "Did you remember to nab the keys, Maxwell?"

            "….!" Duo blinked. He suddenly went racing down the sloped roadway. "I'll be right back!!!"

            "….idiot…" Heero and Wufei muttered in unison.

            Raye walked out from the woods. She looked over to Wufei and smiled. She stared at Heero and groaned, "She got you, too. That BITCH!" 

            Heero didn't bother to correct her. It was a bitch that zapped him.

            Raye continued, "Hey, where's that long-hair kid, Duo?"

            He pointed towards the roadside at the running Shinagami. "The Braided Wonder is recovering the keys."

            "In a steel drum." Wufei added. He made his attention the cargo truck, and climbed inside. He checked the glove compartment for stuff; possibly a weapon, Twinkie, or even--- "Found the spare key."

            "That'll do." Heero vocalized. Ready to just drive off, leaving Duo to chase his steel drum, he climbed into the driver's seat, and held the keys into of the ignition, "Give me one good reason not to ditch him."

            Wufei hissed and confessed, "I sent Trowa and Zechs to survey the area further down the road." He concluded in jest, "We'll just be waiting for them. If Duo shows up first then, so be it."

            "Hn…"

            Raye jumped up into the passenger's side next to Wufei and suggested, "Let's just backup and pick up those two. We might be able to back over Duo."

            Heero and Wufei looked at each other. "Sweet!" they replied calmly.

~~~~~~~

            Duo was running for dear life after the rolling, tumbling, and screaming drum. The track and field hopeful was just a few yards away when he sighted Trowa and Zechs treading up the road.

~~~~~~

            "So I said: 'Hey baby! Whassup!' And the trick zapped me!" The former Lightning count explained to the silent clown. "So now I'm stuck here with you guys on an errand to pick up some food--- ain't that a bitch!?"

            "….." Trowa agreed. "…."

            "Yeah…." Not understanding the language of dots, but trying to be as polite as possible.

            "….!" Trowa displayed panic. "!!!!"

            "Relax! Maybe you should consider being a mime, or something."

            "There's a steel drum rolling towards us!"

            Zechs was so shocked to hear Trowa speak, he didn't pay attention to WHAT he was saying. "WTF?! Man! I thought you were some freaky mute--- I can't believe you actually speak whole sentences----"

            Peeved, Trowa pushed Zechs Marquise aside and stopped the steel drum with his foot.

            "What? A steel drum?! Why didn't you say anything?!" Zechs growled in confusion.

            Trowa got pissed and yelled, "You, himbo!!! I said: 'There's a steel drum tumbling towards us!'!!!! I AM NOT A MUTE---- I JUST DON'T SEE THE POINT IN TALKING WHEN THERE'S NO NEED TO----oooopf!!!"

            Quatre fell on Trowa's head and the steel drum continued to roll, crushing them both.

            "Ack!!! Something touched my butt again!!!!" Quatre whined. "Someone help--- ACK!!!"

            Trowa tossed Quatre off of him and yelled, "GET THE HELL OFF ME!!!!"

            Quatre whimpered, "Why are you YELLING at me?!?"

            The Silencer froze, "Quatre…?? I thought you were a cow."

            Zechs smacked his forehead, "Not this again….."

            Duo pulled the brakes and shouted, "Hey! Quatre! You're here, too! That's great!"

            Trowa and Zechs both snapped, "NO it isn't!"

            Suddenly, Trowa noticed MORE danger approaching. As a HUGE cargo truck went backing up in their direction. He tugged at Quatre's arm to get his attention, knowing it was probably hopeless to try and warn Zechs and Duo.

            "!!!!"

            Quatre folded his arms and rolled his eyes, "What-EVER! You yelled at me for NO reason."

            "!!!!" he implored.

              
            Quatre turned away from Trowa, becoming obstinate. "Nope! I'm not listening to yoooooooou…." He turned towards the oncoming danger and spazzed, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYH!!!! There's a huge truck backing into us! WHY didn't you SAY something!!!!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!"

            "…."

            Zechs run off road and jumped into a bush.

            Quatre ducked and covered his head. 

            Duo ran to the side.

            Trowa stood there and shouted, "…."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

                        "What? Trowa's back there?" Heero glanced at the rear view mirror and sighed, "Damn, Duo moved."

                        Duo jumped upon the drivers-side door and smiled, "You can't hit the ShizNit! You can't hit the ShizNit!"

                        Heero fumed. "….get in."

                        "ALRIGHT!!!!"

* * * * *

                        Now there were six Gundam pilots, and a renegade Sailor Scout all snug in a truck, heading for civilization….. If there's any…..

Raye interjected (the silence) and asked, "What are we gonna pick up? Burgers? Fish?…."

"I don't know….." Zechs uttered, staring out at the zooming trees. "Why should we bother getting them ANYthing."

            The group couldn't help but agree.

                        "Yeah, especially that witch, Sally!!!" Raye growled.

                        "…." Trowa suggested

                        Quatre concurred, "Yes, I agree! We should go to Steak & Shake!"

                        Wufei mumbled, "You ALWAYS agree with Trowa!"

                        Heero added with his monotone voice, "Yeah, shut-up, Bubble Butt!"

                        "Bubble Butt….. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Trowa cracked. He stopped when everyone just…. Gawked at him. "Sorry."

                        Quatre sniffled, "How would you know!?!? You're the one who kept smashing your face in my Bubble Butt----"

                        "You assaulted MY ass first, Bubble Butt!!!"

            Duo gave the two an odd stare. Zechs and Wufei did the same.

                        "No one told you to stop MOVING, Flat Butt!!!

            Trowa and Raye died laughing. The other three just stared.

"You didn't move fast enough, Bubble Butt!!!"

                        "WHOA!!!" Zechs intervened. "How about leaving the details OUT!!! Let's talk about food----for the love of…."

                        Quatre and Heero both defended, "Wait it's not what you think----"

                        "We don't wanna think right now! Let's NOT talk about butts AT ALL." Duo concluded as he went onto the subject of pizza. "I'm up for Dominoes!"

                        "I hate Dominoes! The cheese is too grainy!" Wufei complained. They are way too cheap to use real cheese. I prefer a more worthy pizza joint: Pizza Hut."

                        "Jeezus, Chang! Their pizza is way too greasy!" Zechs argued. "Pizza Hut is NOT a choice place for a warrior!"

                        "…." Wufei glared. "Well, what do you choose!?"

                        "Popeye's chicken." Zechs suggested. "That chicken is the bomb."

                        "Well, what about Subway!" Quatre beamed. "The fat intact is low! And the sandwiches are tasty."

                        "You also get cookies with **EVERY** meal…." Trowa added sarcastically. "Enough of the cookies! You keep eating cookies and you will be a Bubble Butt!"

                        Quatre retorted with an angry tone, "I eat the sandwiches, TOO!"

                        "Sometimes…."

                        Quatre confessed, "…..yeah…"

                        Trowa finished by saying, "No Subway. Let's go to Boston Market."

                        "I'm in the mood for chicken nuggets." Heero uttered, out of the blue. "I'm voting for Mc Donald's."

                        Duo commented slyly, "So that'll be 5 Happy Meals for you. You know they have the Atlantis toys this month and I'm sure you---- OW!!!"

                        Heero served Duo and swift FWAP to the back of the head while driving. Mad Skills!!! PHWAP!!!

                        "…..I could go for some Thai." Trowa admitted.

                        "How about Taco Bell. They don't have cookies!" Quatre assured.

                        "I'd rather BB-Q ribs." Wufei spoke out. "Is there a Johnny's BBQ Pit?"

                        Zechs lectured, "Ribs are not a choice----"

                        "**SHUT-UP**!!!! I don't care about the choice food for warriors!!!! I want ribs!!!!"

                        Trowa shuddered, "Not….. cow….. ribs…..?!?"

                        "……yes!"

                        "You eat those things?!" Trowa freaked.

                        "We eat cows all the time at the Burger joints!" Quatre added. "Those are cows!"

"Shut-up! Bubble Butt!" Trowa snapped. "Cows eat people! We can't eat cows!!! Or we eat people!"

            The rest of the group stared at each other. Heero rolled his eyes and continued to stay focused on driving.

                        Duo decided to break the silence and soothe the spastic pilot, "Trowa, cows don't eat people. People eat People."

                        "Oh my GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD!!!!" Trowa screamed.

            **PHWAP!!! Heero smacked Duo in the back of the head. "What kind of silly shit is that to say!?!"**

                        "Quatre you gave us people burgers?!?!" Trowa gasped. "Wufei eats the ribs of the people?!?! Duo eats people?!?!? What kind of human beings are YOU!!!!"

                        "We're not human, we're -----OWW!!!"

            Heero hissed, "Omae o Korosu----IDIOT!!! Don't make me pull this truck over!!!" 

"Oh my GAWD, YOU are ALL COWS!!!" The HeavyArms Pilot screamed.

"Trowa Barton. Do NOT make me pull this truck over." Heero uttered in a dull tone of annoyance.

            Trowa was in a state of sheer panic. He tried to open the door on Zechs' side. 

The Lightning Count, refusing to die alone, grabbed for Duo's braid. 

Heero was pleased. 

Then Duo grabbed for Quatre's head. 

Quatre grabbed for Wufei's neck. 

Then Wufei grabbed for Raye's leg. 

The fiery chic decided to grab for the steering wheel, causing the huge truck to swerve viciously, running over cars and random cows. 

Heero thought this was fun. Finally, with almost all the pilots and one Sailor Scout on the verge of falling out of the truck, Heero decided to stop the truck….

"Alright! That's it!!!" Heero shouted smashing the brakes, causing the truck to do a 360 in the middle of the road….

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!"** the rest of the group yelled in sheer TERROR!!!


	10. Chapter 10: Road Trip...from Hell.

**Chapter 10: When Gundam Boys and Sailor Girls Clash….AGAIN!!!!**

            Now that Trowa and Duo are rendered unconscious, thanks to Heero, the pilots and former Sailor Scout travel to find civilization at last.

            However, by the time they reach a nearby city, they realized that they probably won't find the common foods they prefer… 

            "We're in Tokyo… again." Heero growled, squeezing the steering wheel. "We forgot to destroy this place…."

            Quatre whined, "Not this again. We did what we had to do. Let's just leave it okay?"

            "I don't really care. I hate this place, too!" Raye mumbled staring out of the window. She managed to steal the window seat from Zechs…. Suddenly, she noticed some familiar girls crossing the street, "Eeep!!!"

            Heero glared at Quatre.

            "Don't look at me! It was Raye!"

            Raye apologized, "I'm sorry, Heero, but look!!!" She pointed to the 5 girls that were annihilated before. "It's the Sailor Scouts!!!"

            Duo woke up at the clamor and glued his face to the window. It was the Sailor Scouts. "We murdered those goofy bitches! We did! We did!!!"

            Heero pulled the brakes and stared in shock. "Holy shit! We did. We did."

            Trowa commented, waking up from his induced coma, "They seem to be more durable than you."

            "Grrr…."

            Wufei shouted, "I say we fight to the death!"

            "My space heart is telling me that we are in deep----"

            "SHIT!!!! They see us!!!" Zechs yelled in peril. "Hit the gas!!!" he ordered. Then he looked over to Heero and asked, "So, who are they?"

            "The silly girls that wear cheesy costumes and used pink beams on us." Heero answered keeping his eyes on the 5 girls. 

            Trowa took out a sniper rifle and suggested, "Perhaps we should take another whack at it!"

            Quatre snatched the rifle from Trowa. "What's gotten into you!? I thought you said it is easy to heart a woman's feelings----OW!!!"

            Trowa elbowed Quatre in the eye as he turned to face him, "It's even easier to break your face! Now, give me the sniper rifle!" He ordered with a hiss. His attention then focused on the ball of energy flying towards them. "Oh… shit!"

            At that moment, the truck was hit by a violent quake….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "World Shaking!!!" Sailor Uranus boomed launching her earth attack.

            The blast rocked the cargo truck from the side and underneath, causing it to flip over. This crushed a few cars and killed some unimportant people.

            Sailor Neptune glared at her lover and sighed, "Don't you think that's overkill, Haruka?"

            The short-haired blonde turned to towards her and simpered, "Have you forgotten what those animals did to the Inner Scouts and the Princess?"

            A wave of nausea struck Sailor Neptune, like a ton of bricks. She nodded, "Urp!!! Carry on!"

            Sailor Uranus grinned, maliciously and darted towards the overturned truck. She took out her Space Saber, or Glass Saber Thingie to go for the kill. She was going to slash and hack them all with a weapon of… glass?!?

            Realizing that the situation to come was not gonna be pretty, Sailor Pluto made it known to the people that they should leave the area and escape to safety.

            "That's right! That's it, people! There's nothing to see here!" she announced directing them out of the area.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Meanwhile Usagi and the girls quickly turned into Sailor Scouts, and prepared for battle. This time they were planning to win….(*snicker*)

            "I don't know how we survived, but we can't let it be in vain! We have to stop those Space Boys!" Super Sailor Moon announced.

            "But what about Sailor Mars?!" Super Sailor Mercury asked.

            "She may have turned on us for that boy!" Super Sailor Venus interposed. "We'll just deal with as it happens!"

            "Right!" Super Sailor Mini Moon added. "It's nothing Sailor Moon can't fix with her Moon Healing Activation, right Usagi?!"

            "Right! LET'S GO!"

            Sailor Uranus climbed to the topside of the overturned truck and got ready to cut the enemy into pieces….

            All the pilots and ex-Sailor Scout were balled up at the opposite end of the fallen truck….. MOST of them were unable to move….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Trowa…" Heero asked, muffled from under Duo's braid. "Is it just me or is that a piece of glass?"

            Since he was closer to the topside (crushing Quatre and Wufei) he could see better. Trowa, slowly crawling from under Zech's hair answered, "Yes. She is going to attack with a piece of glass…" 

            "I see….Roger that…" Heero replied, taking out a Magnum and shooting the glass saber to tiny bits. "Let's move out!"

            "AAAAAAAAAAAiiiiye!!!" Sailor Uranus screamed, covering her face and eyes.

            "Will do!" Trowa uttered kicking her feet right from under her causing her to fall on her face.

            In nanoseconds all of the Gundam pilots and ex-Sailor Scout made their way out of the truck and got ready to brawl. Raye even turned into Sailor Mars for the occasion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Aw! So I see you brought frinz." Duo commented shrewdly. "It's not gonna help!"

            Quatre added, "You're going to be defeated again and again. Why don't you give up….?"

            Zechs comment in his usual scowl, "Aren't you ladies a tad bit under dressed for a battle? I'm not trying to be chauvinistic or anything, but I doubt that mini skirts and hi-heels are the wardrobe of a true warrior…."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            S.S. Mercury whispered to S.S. Jupiter, "Is it me or does that girl have a WAY deep voice?"

            Sailor Jupiter replied in the same decibel, "Totally, I think that that other girl's big sister."

            "Yeah…."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            S. S Moon decided to do her crazy speech towards the guys:

            "You must think you're pretty tough, killing us off. IT'S OBVIOUS that we have time on our side! So now you have to face us again, Only this time we'll win! On behalf of the Moon I will Punish you!!!"

            The Super Sailor scouts, except Mars, gave their leader a round of applause. They had to give Uasgi props for such a ballsy speech, which is sure to leave the Space Boys…. And Girl(s) trembling in their shoes.

            However their cheers were soon faded by the faint sound of a single sarcastic clap…

            "That's really cute, Uasgi." Heero spoke in a dead tone, giving a disturbing, sadistic smirk. "Oh, how I'm going to enjoy killing you again."

            Duo started laughing his butt off and began to mimic S.S. Moon., "On behalf of the MOON???---BWAHAHAHA!!!"

            Trowa insulted, "…"

            Quatre agreed, "Yeah. That was SO early nineties!"

            Wufei blinked and gawked at Sailor Mars, "You did this too?"

            "Uhm…. I had no choice…. The blonde ditz was the leader!"

            "….riiiight!" Zechs chuckled. "You made the right decision leaving that team of fools."

            S.S. Moon called out to Sailor Mars, "Sailor Mars!?!? HOW could you!!? You turned on us!!! WHY?!?!"

            S.S. Jupiter admitted. "I'll admit, these guys are gorgeous---BUT they can't be worth you turning on us!!!" 

            "After all we've been through!" S.S. Venus added. "You're ditching us for them?"

            "What can I say…I LIKE THE Gundam Pilots!" Sailor Mars protested. 

            "Y-YOU like them?" S.S. Moon questioned.

            S.S. Jupiter yelled, "You better not be messing with my Freddy!!!"

            Trowa sighed, "Not this shit again…." He placed his fists on his sides and begged, "Can we please kill them?"

            Sailor Pluto decided to intervene with a revealing statement, "I'm afraid Sailor Mars has turned on you, Princess."

            "Well, DUH, bitch!!!" Duo exclaimed. "She's knows a WINNING team when she sees it!"

            S.S. Mini Moon snapped, "Shut-up Girly Head boy! When Super Sailor Moon does her Healing Activation---Sailor Mars will be on our side and we'll ALL be winners!!!"

            "No you won't!!!" Quatre argued. "I'm a Winner!!!"

            "You're just a silly girl who stole Freddy from Sailor Jupiter. SLUT!!!" The pink-haired rodent taunted. "I hope she KILLS you!!!"

            "I'm NOT a girl!!! You bug-eyed brat!!!" 

            Trowa grabbed Quatre's shoulder, "Relax, Quatre. She's just a child. You can't lose your temper like that----"

            "SHUT-UP! You long legged freak!"

            Trowa blinked. He bent down to speak into Quatre's ear. "….Show NO mercy Quatre. Go for the jugular!"

            "….GRRR!!!" Quatre growled. He felt a Zero system attack coming on….

            "Enough talk!" Wufei shouted, shielding Sailor Mars. "We can't allow the injustice of these creepy onnas to continue. I will protect Sailor---er Raye no matter what!!!"

            Heero cracked his knuckles and spoke, "That's what I'm talking about. Let's kill!"

            Heero got ready to shoot S.S. Moon smack dab between the eyes---AGAIN---BUT then….

            **"It is I who will do all the killing!!!!!" boomed a loud voice that totally interrupted the brawl that was to ensue.**

            "WTF?!" Duo expressed, with grip upon S.S Venus's collar. He tossed her aside and stared out to the strange occurrence before him.

            The skies turned dark purple and swirly. Red lightning flashed from all over. Trees were being blown to the side. The remaining idiots, who tried to watch the climatic battle were blown elsewhere….

            And ANOTHER Sailor Scout appeared….

            But there was something **different** about this one…..

            Something **dark**…..

            Something **DEADLY**…..

            "Who the **Hell** are you?!" Duo yelled out towards her.

            She smiled and evil smile, **"You DON'T want to know…."**

            "You brought Sailor Saturn to full growth?!" S.S. Moon queried towards Sailor Pluto. "WHY?"

            "I had no other option…."

            "I'd rather World War 3 than that crazy, death-bitch! You resurrected the Sailor Scout of Death?!!"

            "S-sorry!"

            **"SILENCE! I am Sailor Saturn. The Sailor Scout of Death!!!"**

            Heero nudged Duo and uttered from the side of his mouth. "She's stealing your motif, Duo…."

            **"As the Sailor Scout of Death I will KILL ALL enemies and TRAITORS!!!!!" she boomed, focusing on Sailor Mars. ****"KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"******

            "…..uhm… I'm not a Sailor Scout….." he replied nervously. "Why should I worry!"

            Heero grabbed his braid and spoke in his ear, "Dude, she's milking that 'of Death' title for all it's worth. She's stealing your title, baka!!!"

            "No, she's NOT!!!!" Duo argued, pulling away. "I am the God of Death. No one can be as cool as **ME!!!"**

            "I don't know, " Heero continued to provoke his ally into Death Rage. "With the special effects, the maniacal cackle, the girl's even armed with a scythe---- she seems to be **MORE intimidating in that mini-skirt than you are in the Gundam DeathScythe…. Pity, I thought the 'Shinagami' bit was ****kinda kewl."**

            "**IT IS KEWL!!!! TAKE IT BACK, Heero Yuy****!!!"**

            "**No.** Reclaim your title, Duo Maxwell! Take her out!"

            "You do it!"

            "She's not taking my title…."

Then it happened…

            "**THERE'S NO NEED FOR YOU OTHER SAILOR SCOUTS. For I the PRETTY *PERFECT SOLDIER* of DEATH WILL OBLITERATE THESE SPACE BOYS!!!! BROO-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"**

            "NO THE HELL SHE DIDN'T ADD PRETTY TO MY TITLE!!!!" Heero yelled is disbelief at Sailor Saturn's choice of words.

            "Ha! She's taken your title as well, O' Perfect One!!!" Duo laughed. He circled around Heero and interrogated his comrade in a joking manner, "So whatcha gonna do now!?! Huh?!? HUH?!?"

            "**I'll take that Bitch head on! Duo, you back me up!"**

            "Woo-Hoo!!" Duo cheered as he followed Heero's lead on the attack.

**_And the _****_Battle_****_ Ensues…. Again._**


	11. Chapter 11: REEEEEEMAAAAAATCH!!!!!

**Chapter 11: Round Two—FIGHT!!!!**

            "So you're Blondie's big sister, huh?" S.S. Jupiter interrogated the Lightning Count as he backed away. 

            Quatre was behind Zechs and spoke out, "He's not my sister! And stop calling me Blondie!!"

            "Dude, shut-up! Stop talking shit from behind me. It's YOU she's after!" Zechs hissed, shoving The Noble of the Desert out in front.

            "Shut-Up, Blondie!!!" she snapped. "I'm after your super cute sister! So YOU think you can steal Freddy from me, too! Huh?"

            "Who's Freddy?"

            "I don't know! Run!!!" Quatre shouted as he and Zechs made a break for it, splitting off into two different directions.

            "I'll get you bimbos!!!" She noticed that the smaller blonde was running in 'Freddy's' direction and decided to head in the same direction. "Hey!!! Freddy's mine!!!!"

            Quatre bumped into Trowa, who didn't budge. In fact he didn't even notice. Trowa was too busy backing away from Sailor Neptune and a fully recovered Sailor Uranus. As soon as the SandRock pilot got up, Trowa pushed Quatre back, and he too was backing away from Scouts.

            "Just follow my lead….." he ordered.

            Quatre looked over to S.S. Jupiter, only to see her standing there, with a look of dread. Then she walked off. This can't be good if even the Trowa-crazed girl was leaving the scene.

            "What's going on?" he whispered in deep concern.

            "Follow my lead. They can't be any different from the others." Trowa mumbled

            Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus noticed they seem to work well together. That could be bad…. For them. Or could it? The lovers had an idea and smiled.

            "Why, look, Love." Sailor Neptune inquired. "They are a couple just like us."

            "?!?!?!?" Trowa and Quatre froze and expressed, "What?!"

            Sailor Uranus chuckled heartily and spoke, "I wonder which one is the aggressive one and which on is the elegant one?"

            "Wait a minute!" Quatre protested stepping out from behind Trowa. "Just what are you two babbling about!?"

            "Oh, I think the little one is the elegant one. The taller one looks like the aggressor!" Sailor Neptune simpered mischievously. "They look SO cute together!"

            "Cute?! Hold up! What are you implying?!" Trowa questioned defensively.

            Sailor Uranus yelled t the top of her lungs, "You two are LOVERS!!!!"

            "!!!!!" Trowa and Quatre looked at each other. "Dude!!! He's a guy?!"

            Everybody on the battle field just stopped and stared at Quatre and Trowa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Duo yelled to Wufei, "I knew it!!!! Wufei you owe me fifty!!!!"

            "Injustice!!!!" Wufei grumbled, taking out his wallet.

            On the other side, Zechs called out to Heero, "My theory was correct. Heero Yuy you owe me $50.00!"

            Over at Heero's area.

            "Hn… damnit!" he cursed taking out his wallet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "What?!" Trowa huffed in disbelief towards his comrades. "You guys are running bets?!??! On us?!?! YOU guys are SICK!!!!!"

            "But why!!!!" Quatre yelled.

            "Because you ARE a couple! You two obviously have an attraction towards each other!" Sailor Neptune noted. "It's SO obvious."

            Trowa was either too shocked or too grossed out to even respond. So, Quatre took a whack at explaining their relationship…..?!?! Not a good choice of words, huh?

            "You don't understand! We like each other but in a---"

            Trowa elbowed Quatre and yelled, "Quatre, shut-up!!! You are NOT making this any better!"

"But we do have a relationship!"

            The Lesbian Sailor Scouts laughed.

            "**SHUT**-**UP**!!! You are using the **WORST** choice of words, man!!!"

            Quatre started to cry, "B-but I thought we were friends….. Why are you doing this to Meeeeee-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

            Sailor Neptune teased, "Awwww! You made your little lover cry! You should kiss and---"

            Trowa was fumed, "YOU **silly** bitches, I told you, it's **NOT** like that!!!"

            "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Quatre continued to cry, not listening, but making the situation MUCH worse. "I can't believe you don't like meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I thought..... I thought we were---Waaaaah!!!"

            "You are a terrible man, Space Boy." Sailor Uranus remarked.

            "You probably use nice guys like that ALL the time!!!!" Sailor Neptune added.

            "GAWD DAMNIT!!!  WHY ME!!!!…" Trowa shouted, smacking himself in the forehead. He petted Quatre on the head and added, "Quatre… you are SO un-cool right now...." The humiliation couldn't get any worse…..

            "WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

            Their plan to break the bond was working. Those two space boys will never work out a strategy to defeat the two Outer Scouts.

            "And now we're gonna do bad things to YOU!!!" Sailor Neptune yelled as she summoned her watery powers, "Deep Submerge!!!!!"

            A huge tidal wave of water loomed over Trowa and Quatre. The two pilots looked up and could only hang their mouths open as the IMMENSE body of water came crashing into them.

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!" Quatre and Trowa yelled as they were washed across the street and through a mall window.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Whoa!" Duo watched from a distance. "That CAN'T be good."

            He instantly dodged another swing from Sailor Saturn's scythe. Duo countered with a foot sweep to the ground. 

            "No one's situation is good, right now." The Perfect Soldier commented. "Look at what I'm dealing with."

            Heero was stuck with Sailor Moon once again. She managed to cut him off before he could confront Sailor Saturn. In her Super form Usagi had become quite a bother. Once again, the only good hits she could come up with are from accident, courtesy of the gaudy additions to her outfit: the wings to knock Heero off balance, longer hair, slapping him in the eye, long ribbons to entangle and trip Heero, go-go booted heels in the groin.

            Heero snatched those goofy wings off and slammed her face first into the asphalt. He took her ribbons and tied up her ankles. He wrapped her hair around her neck and slung her into a light post. "….bitch!"

            He rushed over towards her and kicked her in the rear.

            Then he was attacked by a rose….. in the butt.

            "OWWW!!!" he yelled in agony. "My ASS!!!"

            "Sorry, I was aiming for the heart." Tuxedo Mask responded as he jumped down from the top of a phone booth. "I won't miss again."

            "Hn…" Heero growled yanking the thorn rose from the side of his buttock. "Pervert. You aimed for my butt!" he threatened, while shaking his fist, "Don't worry, I'll repay the gesture with a steel toed boot up yours!!!"

            Heero and Tuxedo Mask clashed. Heero came in with a solid punch to the facial, but missed?!?! Then the caped dork took out his cane and smacked Heero across the rear. Heero returned with a back fist to the temple. Tuxedo Mask went flying into S.S. Moon, who was still tied up and wrapped around the light post.

            "You FREAK! You aimed for my butt again!!!" Heero yelled in disgust. "What the Hell is your problem?"

            "N-no I didn't!" Tuxedo mask defended weakly. He got up and started to untie Sailor Moon. "You're shiny butt just happens to be in the way---- er it's the best attack! The Rear!"

            Heero rolled his eyes in annoyance, "... uhm... ewe!" he groaned. 

            Tuxedo Mask stood up and slashed his cane through the air. "Have at you, knave!"

            "…." He replied before attacking.

            Dodging, yet another cane to the rear, Heero kicked Tuxedo Mask in side of the head, knocking him off balance. He snatched his silly top hat off and smack him in the face with it.

            "Smoooook!!" Tuxedo Mask sounded before receiving a quick fist to the nose. "GOOOOOGAH!!!"

            Heero served another punch in the gut. He yanked him by the bow tie and head butted him. Heero, then threw him to the ground, picked up his cane and started to beat him senseless…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sailor Pluto swung at Zechs with her staff, hitting his arm. Zechs was knocked to the ground. The oldest Sailor Scout went in for the kill, but Zechs smashed his feet into her gut, sending her flying across the street and into a mailbox.

            "Crazy bitch!" Zechs gruffed, fixing his hair.

            "Dead Scream.." she uttered taking aim with her staff and firing at Zechs.

            "My hair!!!" Zechs yelled taking cover. He quickly got up and rushed Sailor Pluto, "I'll teach you to interrupt the grooming procedure of a warrior!"

            Zechs speared her into the same mailbox, knocking it over, with her on it.

            "I'll get you, Big Blondie!!" shouted an enraged S.S. Jupiter from behind. "Take this!!" she yelled grabbing him by his hair and throwing him to the ground.

            Zechs rolled across the ground, avoiding damage to the face. However, he platinum mane may have touched the sidewalk…

            "Oh no you didn't cause me to dirty my perfect hair!" Zechs growled in anger. "Now I'm going to have to KILL you!"

            "Jupiter Thunder----Gaaaaaaaaaaack!!!"

            Zechs spun kicked Jupiter in the jaw, sending her twirling in the air, and SLAMMING into the ground.

            "I'm sorry I had to be so rough with you my lovely…." Zechs babbled to his mane while brushing it repeatedly. "I promise you. It's Herbal Essence night at Daddy's tonight (---SANS that remote carrying meanie Noin). There, there…."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hmph! How weird!" Wufei insulted towards Zechs watching him baby his hair. "My Nataku is WAY more worthy of worship than Zechs' onna hair!"

            Sailor Mars tugged at Wufei's arm and yelled, "Wu-wu! Sailor Mercury and Venus are coming this way!!!"

            Wufei puffed, "Let the silly onnas come forth!!! I shall crush them!!!"

            "This is for you own good, Raye!" S.S. Venus shot her Love Beam Chain at Sailor Mars, wrapping her instantly. She yanked the traitor towards her. Since Venus was in Super mode, Mars could not over power the attack.

            "Oh no! I'm not in Super Mode!!! HELP!!!!"

            "I'll teach you to brainwash our frin!!!" S.S. Mercury summoned a shower of ice to freeze Wufei. 

He flipped out of the way and went to aid Raye. "Silly onnas!!! Your little FX won't stop me! I will destroy you with my bare hands! KIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" he yelled as he slammed a (Mortal Kombat-styled) flying kick into S.S. Mercury's head, sending her flying into the sidewalk.

            Sailor Mars struggled out of the golden, heart beaded rope and clotheslined S.S. Venus in the neck!

            "GaaaaaakOOO!!!!" she gagged.

            "Leave me be!!!" Raye protested.

            Suddenly a tiny, sparkly, and stinging pink beam struck Sailor Mars from behind. S.S. Mini Moon was even more powerful than Sailor Mars!!! She ran up behind the traitor and hit her kneecap with the little wand.

            Small Lady jump upon Sailor Mars' head and began to hit her "You stoopid, bitch!!! I'll teach you to---Ack!!!"

            Sailor Mars served Rini a backfist that sent the pink freak flying into a garbage can. She looked back at her and smiled, "I got an idea!"

            "What are you doing?" Wufei asked, tossing S.S. Mercury through a nearby store window.

            "Duo had the right idea!" Raye grinned, throwing S.S. Mini Moon into the trash can. She slammed the lid upon the top of Rini's head and rolled it down the street. "Bye! Bye!! Brat!!!"

            "aaaa…aaaa.aaaa….aaaa….aaa…aaaayh!!!!" Rini screamed as the trash can went rolling down a conveniently sloped hill and towards a nearby lake in a park…..**SPLASH!!!!!!**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over at the Neo Tokyo Mall… Trowa and Quatre awake from what should've been a watery death.

            "What happened?" Trowa asked, rubbing his head. "Did we survive?" He staggered to he feet, keeping balance upon a table…. Covered with lingerie??! "Oh…." He blushed stumbling away from the satin thongs and silky bikinis.

            He looked around and noticed the whole store was filled with intimate items….. female intimate items. Taking notice of a nearby sales sign he realized where he was, "Victoria's Secret…. We're in a Victoria's Secret store…. How embarrassing!" He began to slap and kick the other strange intimate garments off of him in frustration, "Geez, what is this stuff!? How do women wear these creepy things…. Gah!!!"

            Quatre ran from out of the fitting room he got slammed into and yelled, "We're in a woman's store!!!! There's a bra on my head!!!" He snatched the article off his head and fumed. "This is my sisters' favorite store, and we ruined it! I'll kill those ladies that did this to us. Grrrrrrrrr!"

            "Calm down, Beavis…. Damn!" The tall pilot imitated. Trowa staggered towards the newly made exit. "Let's just leave…."

            "And just WHERE do YOU think YOU'RE going, lovers!?" Sailor Uranus bellowed, blocking Trowa's path. "We've only just begun to fight, aggressor!"

            Trowa frowned, "Not this shit again." He yelled, "**I GOT YOUR AGGRESSOR RIGHT HERE, BEOTCH!!!**" he turned around picked up another half naked mannequin and swung….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!!" Sailor Uranus went flying past Duo and Heero's brawl with Sailor Saturn.

            "What do you suppose was that?" Heero asked slamming a fist into Sailor Saturn's face.

            "Trowa losing it." Duo smirked grabbing Sailor Saturn by the hair and throwing her to the ground. 

            "Let's just hope Quatre doesn't do the same….." Heero pointed out. "Things could get ugly…."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Eeek!!! You hurt my Haruka!!!!" Sailor Neptune squeaked. She got ready to summon yet another Deep Submerge at the pilots. "I'll kill you, both! Lovers or NOT!!!"

            "Lovers?!? I've HAD IT!" Trowa took out a sniper rifle and took the shot. **SNIPE!!**

            Sailor Neptune fell to the ground, with a bullet lodged in her forehead.

            "t-Trowa? Where did you get that sniper rifle?" Quatre asked strangely. "No seriously where?"

            Trowa looked back at the SandRock pilot and shrugged, "I don't know! Let's get out of this girlie store…."

"And kill the bitches!!!" Quatre grinned.

"….." Trowa stared at him. "Riiiiight… you crackhead."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            **"Take this!!!" Sailor Saturn screamed lunging at an unsuspecting Heero.**

            She actually managed to cut his arm. The dark powers of the scythe caused Heero to weaken and faint. Duo tackled her from behind, but was hit in the forehead by the handle of the scythe. The mere touch of the weapon also managed to render Duo unconscious.

            She may have taken a beating from the two pilots before, but she's still in the game. Noticing that the opponents were (temporarily) out of commission she turned her focus to Sailor Mars who was not too far away, fighting S.S. Mercury AND S.S. Venus. She can kill the two Space Boys later, Sailor Scout business had to be handled first…

            "Traitor!!!" she growled. She made a mad dash towards Sailor Mars. **"****DIE!!!"**

            Wufei was busy fighting with S.S. Mercury, while Raye was busy contending with S.S. Venus.

            When the rebel Sailor Scout noticed the approaching danger, it was too late! Sailor Saturn leaped over S.S. Venus, and slashed at Sailor Mars…

            The front of Sailor Mars' uniform was cut off of her outfit, changing her back to normal. Raye was knocked to the ground, and tried to scamper out of the Killer Scout's path of RAGE!!!!

            **"DIE!!" Sailor Saturn screamed impaling her scythe's blade into Raye's back, killing her instantly. ****"Off with her head!" She scoffed swooping her scythe across Raye's neck and decapitating her!**

            "Oh no!" S.S. Venus cried. "Why did you kill Raye?!!"

            Sailor Saturn slowly turned to S.S. Venus and grinned, **"Because I can!"**

            Wufei turned when he realize the S.S. Mercury was focused on the gruesome scene. "What?!?!? Raye!!?!?"

            S.S. Mercury raced past Wufei and went after Sailor Saturn. "I knew you couldn't be trusted!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Zechs made the scene and uttered, "She's sick!"

            Sailor Pluto and S.S. Jupiter witness the impending danger from afar.

            "What have I done…." Sailor Pluto mouthed.

            "You've screwed us over.....ALL of us!!!" S.S. Jupiter answered the taller Sailor Scout.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            **"Shut-Up!!!" Sailor Saturn hissed slapping S.S. Mercury to the ground. ****"I'll kill you all!!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"**

            **"Not before I kill you." Spoke a voice familiar to the Gundam pilots. ****"You are disturbing the peace and tranquility in outer space…"**

            Heero, already awake from the cut, looked up to see Quatre entering another Zero system attack… "**Oh shit! Quick, someone hide Trowa!"**

            "What?!" Duo murmured sleepily, "What happened now? Hide Trowa?"

            "Quatre's in Zero System!"

            Duo yelled, "Oh my gawd! Quatre's gone Zero System! Run!!!!" Duo got up and went running towards the mall.

            "Wait you idiot! I need you to help me with--- **gawd damn BAKA!!!"**

            **"I cannot allow you to disturb the peace in space!" Quatre continued as he started to smile.**

            Heero tackled Trowa from behind shielding him. Trowa had **NO idea what the hell was happening.**

            "What the **Hell are you doing!?!" he yelled, strangle by Heero's head lock.**

            "He's gone Zero system. You have to hide!"

            "Why! He needs my help!" he struggled to speak.

            "Haven't we been through this shit before?! He's gonna kill you Run! Idiot!! Run!!!"

**"Little GIRL! You had better get out of my face!!!! I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING!!! THAT INCLUDES OUTER SPACE!!!!!"**

            "For the love of Allah!!!! I am NOT a girl!!!!!" he whined. Then he went back to Zero mode. Quatre started to laugh, "**You fool! You'll feel my wrath!!! I won't let you destroy outer space!!! That's MY job!!! EIYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"******

            **"!?!?!"**

            The golden-eyed psycho charged after Sailor Saturn at inhuman speed. He grabbed the scythe by the blade, with his bare hands, and tossed it aside…. Stabbing S.S. Venus through the chest!

            "GRRRRRRRRPRFA!!!" S.S. Venus sounded falling to the ground dead.

            **"BITCH!!!" Quatre yelled as he backhanded Sailor Saturn **HARD** across the face.**

            **"FOOOOOOOOGah!!!" she sounded.**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Oh damn!" Trowa uttered in shock. "That's not the nice guy I once knew!"

            Heero snatched Trowa off the ground and started to run towards the mall. "No shit! Run! You Him-Bo!! Run!!!"

            Suddenly Sailor Moon leaped out of nowhere in front of Trowa and Heero. "Aha!!! You think I'd let you get away with beating my boyfrin to death!!!?"

            "We don't have time for you, Usagi! Move!" Heero ordered. He pushed Trowa aside, "Get out of here! I'll handle her!!!"

            Suddenly S.S. Moon came up with a great idea! "Hey CRAZY GIRL!!! Your boyfrin is over HEEEEEEEEEERE!!!! COME AND GEEEEET hiiiiiiii----OOOOopha!!!"

            Heero kicked her in the stomach and threw her against a fire hydrant down the street. He and Trowa took off.

            **"TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWA!!!!!" Quatre screamed turning his head a full 360 from behind. He grinned, ****"I'm GONNA KIIIILL YOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!"******

            "Why me?!" Trowa freaked. "And how did he do that?"

            "Because, he's nutty!" Heero huffed and snatched Trowa . "Run!!!"

            Fixing his head back to norm he took off and ran after Heero and **MAINLY** Trowa. 

            **"EIYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"**

            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The remaining Sailor Scouts were way too concerned with the 2 Gundam pilots. They ran off to aid S.S. Moon. Sailor Saturn was knocked out cold by Quatre's **Super Bitch slap**.

            Zechs, totally grossed out that Quatre had performed one of the creepiest scenes in 'The Exorcist', just stood there. "Is this a regular thing with you Gundam Pilots?!" he asked Wufei.

            "I guess…." He looked over at Raye's body and head. "Man, she was a hottie."

            "At least you have Sally."

            Wufei shrugged, "Yeah…"

            They looked over at the mall across the street, hearing screams and cackles, and loud crashing and bashing of things. Zero System Quatre was on a roll. Trowa and Heero are on the run. Duo is probably avoiding all of it… at Victoria's Secret….

            "You wanna back the guys up?" Zechs asked.

            Wufei made an odd face, "Why would I do that?"

            Zechs nodded, "Wise decision…"

The two warriors took a seat upon a sidewalk bench and waited…..


	12. Chapter 12: ENTER--His Excellency

**Chapter 12: Enter---His Excellency**

            _When we last saw the Gundam Team and friends, they were under attack by the newly revived Sailor Scouts and their friends. Things didn't look so good for them as they witness the death of Raye aka Sailor Mars at the hands of Sailor Saturn._

_            With the confusion brought by Sailor Neptune and her lover Sailor Uranus, and Trowa's utterly brutal denial of EVERYTHING, Quatre's Zero System kicked in. This resulted in the death of Sailor Venus, and a major bitch slap to the evil Sailor Saturn…. And possibly MORE deaths and bitch slaps to come…._

_            As the team is split up once again, Zechs and Wufei find time to chill and await further action from the two battling teams who've seem to take refuge… in a nearby mall??!?!_

_            WTF?_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Man!" Zechs yawned. "I'm so bored. Hey Wufei, you hungry?"

            Wufei looked around the battered street, and pointed, "Yeah, let's raid that sushi joint!"

            "Good idea! Sushi is a healthy choice for the warrior!"

            "…whatever you say, Zechs…" 

            The two pilots raced over to the desolated sushi bar across. Wufei picked up a newsstand and smashed the window. Zechs headed for the kitchen. Wufei raided the soda fountain. They grubbed for all it was worth….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Meanwhile back at the abandoned battle area… a major intersection, a new player made the scene….

            Treize Khushrenada, walked through the empty intersection. He wore a space suite, for he was cruising in his Tallgeese II, trying to get his mind off the war. What better way to relax than to get into a brawl….?!?!? WTF?

            "I see, I have missed the fight." He spoke valiantly. "Too bad. I thought maybe I could see the Great One himself…."

            Wufei and Zechs crept out of the sushi bar and froze, "Treize?!?!"

            Treize turned around and waved, "Hello, soldiers! Did I miss it?"

            "Miss what?!" Wufei sounded through a mouthful of rice cakes.

            "You (other) freaky browed freak!!! I thought you were back on Earth!!! Why!!!?" Zechs screamed in a growling voice. "Why are you hunting me!!!!"

            Trieze twitched and arched his freaky eyebrow, "I'm NOT looking for your goofy ass! I'm looking for the legendary warrior that will end ALL fights!"

            Zechs yelled, "That's ME!!"

            Wufei punched him in the stomach, "Liar!!!! I will determine---"

            Treize stared over towards the mall and shouted, "Silence. I hear someone…. Screaming."

            Suddenly Sailor Saturn started to stir in her comatose state and moan. His Excellency approached injured young woman. He tried to help Sailor Saturn to her feet. Wufei and Zechs dropped all their edible loot and gawked. Trieze glared at two cowardly men.

            "She is just a young woman who was hurt in a fight. Judging by this bruise on her face, she may need medical attention, and you two are JUST GONNA STAND THERE!"

            "Yes!" the two responded. "She's a monster!!! She's killing her own people!!!!"

            Trieze stood Sailor Saturn to her feet and turned to lecture them, TOTALLY unaware of the danger behind him. "I, too, killed many of my men in useless battles. And I remember all of their names: Bob Rains, Taki Shino, Leslie Warner, Peter Wells….."

            "Your Excellency!!!!" Zechs warned. "She's gonna kill you!!!! Run!!!!!"

            "What are you doing!!!! Shut-the-Hell up and run!!!"

            Trieze ignored their rude behavior and continued, "Tracey Newman, Akbar Rasheem, Olan Banok, Richard----"

            **"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!! WHO DARES BITCH SLAPS ME!!!!!!! WAS IT YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!?!" Sailor Saturn screamed taking her scythe in her hand and pointing towards Treize.**

            "….!" Treize didn't bother to continue. He took off like a cheetah and headed towards the mall. Wufei and Zechs followed behind him. Sailor Saturn followed all three….

            **"I'LL KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL……"**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            **"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!"** Quatre continued to rave closing in on Trowa who was unsuccessfully weaving through the clothing section in a sports store. **"TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWA!!!!!"******

            "Get the hell away from me, you freak!!!" Trowa yelled launching several nylon shirts at Quatre. He flipped into the air and ran across the shoe rack and started launching several pairs of golf shoes. "Heero!!!! Duo!!!! Someone!!! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!!!"

            "I'll save ya, Freddy!!!" Sailor Jupiter called out as she jumped on top of the shoe rack next to him and smiled.

            Trowa felt a headache coming on, "Why me!" he groaned.

            Quatre glared. His eyes started blazing. **"I'LL KILL YOU, TOO!!!! EIYAHAHA!!!"******

            "Take this, Nega Bimbo!!!" S.S. Jupiter performed the Oak Evolution Attack and hit Quatre with it!!!"

            **"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYH!!!!"** he screamed flying through ALL of the clothes racks in the section in an electric blaze.

            Trowa grabbed her and yelled, "What the hell are you doing?!! You're gonna kill him!!!"

            Heero peeked from over the sports equipment section and shouted, "He's fine!"

            "Heero?!" Trowa called out. "You chicken shit!!! You ditched me!!!! Show your face!!!"

            "No!"

            "Freddy, this is for your own good! Stunner!!!" she asserted as she used a small amount of her powers to stun Trowa out of consciousness.

            "a-a-a-a-a-a-ck!!!"    Trowa yelled as he fell off the shoe rack and onto the ground.

            "Oops!" S.S. Jupiter grimaced jumping down from the rack. She held Trowa up and dragged him into the weight lifting section and laid him across a lifting bench…. Under a 200lb barbell….. "You just rest there, cutie! I'm gonna take out that Nega skank!!!"

            Heero finally decided to come out of hiding and help Trowa out, now that he's armed with a metal baseball bat. He was ready for anything. He could hear S.S. Jupiter searching through the charred clothing in search for Quatre. He's probably still in Zero System Mode, which is good, he could kill off some more scouts—hopefully Usagi.

            "Hiya!!!" chirped an annoying voice.

            Heero took a swing. Duo ducked. Heero smashed open a display of baseball equipment. Heero made a LOUD racket. Quatre woke up…. PISSED.

            **"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!! I'LL KILL YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!" Quatre roared.**

            "I found you!!!! Take this!!!" S.S Jupiter shouted summoning her lightning powers to strike the insane blonde Arabian.

            It pissed him off! He leaped into the air and landed on her, straddling her neck! S.S. Jupiter collapsed to the floor and struggled to breathe. Quatre made a quick twist in the hips. S.S. Jupiter stopped moving.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Oh my gawd---"

            Heero clapped his hands over Duo's mouth and worded, "SHUT-UP!!! We gotta take him out!"

            "We!?" Duo shrugged. He walked backwards and said, "Look, buddy! I was just checking on ya for the sake of friendship. I'm heading back to the Victoria's Secret store, if you wanna check it , fine, but I am NOT taking psycho boy on----oops!!!"

            Duo fell upon a tennis racket display. Making LOTS of noise. PISSING Quatre off.

            "You stupid, stupid baka!!!" Heero exclaimed, snatching Duo up by the braid and running for dear life.

            Quatre dashed through the sports equipment aisle within seconds, and went zooming towards Heero and Duo as they turned the corner. He was closing in on them by the time they made it to the weightlifting area. They spotted the unconscious Trowa, and 4 conscious Sailor Scouts.

            "We got you now!!!" Sailor Uranus yelled. "World Shaking!!!"

            Heero and Duo both jumped into separate directions, leaving the attack for Quatre. He took it all…. And reflected the impact back at Sailor Uranus. She went flying through the weight lifting area and into the archery section.

            Heero scampered over to Trowa and caught the unstable 200lb barbell before it could crush his head. He quickly tossed it aside, and wished he's aimed for S.S. Moon. She smacked him in the back with a scepter.

            He grabbed her by the arm and snapped it. "…go away, twit."

            "aaaaaiyyyyeee!!!!" S.S. Moon screamed. She kicked him in the neck as she fell.

"GRRRK!!!" Heero sounded as he tried to breathe. "I…. Hate… that …. Girl…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Sailor Pluto snatched Duo by his braid and tried to sling him into a display of weights. Duo grabbed her hair as well, and used his strength to slam her into the weights.

            Weights went flying. Pluto went flying when he uppercut punched her into the air with a 50lb weight. **CRACK!!!!**

"And the God of Death claims ANOTHER soul!" Duo bragged to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Quatre noticed Trowa, he stomped through the mess and headed towards him. Heero and Duo blocked his way. Quatre grabbed both of them by the face and threw them aside.

            **"I will destroy….."**Suddenly Quatre found himself in a wall of bubbles. **"Bubbles!!! What can SILLY bubbles do?"******

S.S. Mercury summoned her annoying yet effective attack upon the Golden Eyed Monster. "Attack him Sailor Uranus!!!"

            A fully recovered Sailor Uranus darted out of the archery section with a deluxe bow gun and fired mercilessly. "Ha!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Oh shit!!!" Duo and Heero exclaimed watching helplessly as Quatre was attacked in the cloud of bubbles.

**            All 375 bows hit! As the bubbles faded away, Sailor Uranus realized she'd made a BIG mistake.**

            "You silly bitch!!!" Duo cracked up and pointed. "You hit you own ally!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!"

            Quatre chuckled as he dropped his human shield (Sailor Mercury) to the ground. "**What ****lousy aim you have, BITCH!!!"**He picked up the 200lb barbell and started to twirl it upon his finger and boasted, **"I'll show you how to aim!!! Hiyaah!!!"******

            The 200lb barbell went flying and hit the retreating Sailor Uranus…. Through the head and torso!!! Brains and guts went flying!!!

            "Oh daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!" Heero and Duo exclaimed as they slowly started to creep away. 

            Quatre would've went after them, but he noticed that Trowa had awaken, and was looking around dazed…. And helpless….

            **"Troooooooowa!!!" he yelled grabbing the Silencer by the neck and squeezing the life out of him. ****"My frin!!! How nice to see yoooou!!!"**

            "!!!!"

            "Take that!!!" S.S. Moon shouted as her Moon Elimination Blast struck Quatre from behind, knocking him off of Trowa and into a set of barbells. She took off running along with Heero and Duo.

            Trowa staggered to his feet and did the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Why don't you WARRIORS just kick her butt!!!" Trieze huffed as he continued to lead in the race to avoid the Sailor Scout of Death. "Make yourselves useful!"

            "Why don't you 'Oh Leader of a Better Future'!!!" Wufei taunted, keeping up pace.

            "Shut up, you angry midget!" Trieze insulted. 

            "Save your energy for running!!!" Zechs intervened as he took the lead.

            **"YOU ARE AAAAAALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!" Sailor Saturn shouted.**

            "?!?!?!" Zechs hit the brakes and slid into Heero. Both went crashing into the ground.

            "Get out of my way---- OOOOPH!!!" Wufei yelled as he went colliding into Duo. Both went crashing into the ground.

            Treize spotted Trowa running in his direction. Vice Versa. Both stopped in their tracks and yelled, "There's a psycho chasing me!!!"

            Suddenly S.S. Moon came running out of the mall and bumped into Trowa, causing him to fall onto Trieze. All three went crashing into the ground.

            Heero shouted, "Let's split up now!!!"'

            Each pilot and one Moon Princess went off in separate directions as Quatre came darting out of the mall, and Sailor Saturn came running towards him.

            **"I'LL KILL YOU!!!!**

            **"NO, I'LL KILL YOU!!!"**

            Both crazy freaks started brawling! Sailor Saturn punched him dead in the face. Quatre kicked her in the side, and threw her through a street light. Saturn zapped Quatre with her Death powers and made him sleepy. Saturn tried to stab him with the scythe, but Quatre flipped to his feet, and leaped into the air. He ran upon the long range weapon and kicked her in the face.

            **"ooonka!!!"**

            **"EIYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** Quatre cackled as he flipped over her and slammed her on her head. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "What is this!?" Treize gasped, watching the display of brutality. "Aren't you gonna help?"

            "No!" Duo smiled. He pointed to S.S. Moon. "She's HER friend.

            Usagi WAS feeling bad about lowing low with the enemy while her ONLY ally was in danger….

            "I'll save her!!" she said to herself and marched off to help Sailor Saturn. "I'll finish you all later."

            Heero and Duo couldn't help but laugh. Treize just stared, mortified.

            "That poor girl."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Quatre grabbed Sailor Saturn by her neck and slammed her on her neck. He repeatedly began to bash her head upon the asphalt.

**          "DIE! DIE!! DIE!!!" **

            "Moon Healing Activation!!!" S.S. Moon called out as her healing beam hit Quatre in the back!

            **"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!"**the Zero System Freak collapsed with a thud over an already dead Sailor Saturn.

            Sailor Moon rushed over to Sailor Saturn. "Oh Sailor Saturn are you okay!?! Answer me!"

            **"She can't! She's dead…." Quatre growled as he slowly started to lift his head.**

            He's good at playing dead, ain't he!?

            Before Sailor Moon could get up and attack, Quatre grabbed her leg and slammed her into the asphalt, head first. He stood up and slammed her on her head on the opposite side. He did this for at least 2 minutes until the only thing he was holding was a leg… or the go-go boot she was wearing.

"**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI!!!!"**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

            "I think I'm gonna puke…." Trowa voiced hunched over a sidewalk bench.

            Zech laughed, "What are you talking about? This is good stuff! It's like: FATALITY!!"

            Wufei spoke in awe, "Wow! You should honored to have a friend with such strength. He makes us look so weak…"

            "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRGH!!!"

            "Oh dude!!!!" Zechs and Wufei shouted in revulsion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Treize frowned, "Funny, I thought he'd be here!"

            Heero and Duo stared, "Who?!"

            "The one capable of ending ALL battles."

            "But… isn't that you?" Duo spoke.

            "No, it is a much more gallant person than I can EVER be." Trieze admitted. "This person can teach us all how to guide the future towards the best intentions…"

            "He yapping again…." Duo muttered to Heero.

            "Let's just walk away…." Heero replied as he and Duo crept away. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Quatre, suddenly performed several flips towards Trowa's direction. As he neared Zechs and Wufei he served the a double kick to the face. He, then pounced upon Trowa and started to choke him.

            "Oh shit!!! He's got Trowa!!" Heero yelled.

            "What is he doing now!" Treize groaned. "When does this end?"

            "Uhm, according to Heero, when he kills Trowa!" Duo answered before running towards Quatre.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "ugh!!! UGH!!! Quat--- Wh-y a-r-r-e you-uuu-ACK!!!"

            "**eiyahahahahahahahahahaha****!!!!!"**

            Heero jumped on Quatre. Duo jumped on Quatre. Zechs jumped on Quatre. Wufei jumped somewhere where Quatre wasn't jumped on. Trieze just stared.

            Quatre threw EVERYBODY off of him and continued to choke Trowa. EVERYBODY landed next to Trieze. His Excellency sat down on the bench next to Quatre and started to drink his wine….

            "This is so boring…." he hummed impatiently.

            "UGH-he-lp----QUAT—you---Cree-eepy---*cough* ack!!!" Trowa choked.

            Little did His Excellency know, his hero was approaching fast….. (joy)

**_COMING UP THE FINALE--- the Return of Tuxedo Melvin!!!_**


	13. Chapter 13:The Wrath of Tuxedo Melvin!!!...

**Chapter 13: The Return of Tuxedo Melvin**

            _With all the Sailor Scouts destroyed. The Gundam team was successful in yet another battle. However, with Quatre under the influence of the Zero System, their chances of getting off the planet Earth… with Trowa, in one piece seemed slim._

_            Treize Khushrenada, arrived to Earth in hopes of finding his idol, but to no avail. Now we sits, awaiting the end of this gruesome battle…_

            "Dear GAWD!!! He has some sort of iron grip on his neck!!!" Duo winced trying to pry Quatre's small hands from Trowa's neck.

            "Get a lead pipe or something and knock the hell out of him!!!" Zechs shouted.

**"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIYAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"**

            Quatre backhanded Wufei, knocking him into a fire hydrant. He tossed Heero overhead and against a wall. Quatre bit down on Zechs' arm, causing him to run off and cry. He head butted Duo, knocking him against the bench, causing Trieze to spill his wine.

            "Damn it!!!" Trieze cursed. "Do you know how long it takes Lady Une to get wine stains out of the space suit?!?"

"OH! Sorry!" Duo snapped in sarcasm. "Didn't mean to disturb your peaceful moment!"

"It's quite alright!"

"Grrr."

**At a downtown bus top.**

            "Oh man! I hope I'm not late! I gotta save the Sailor Scouts!!!" Melvin huffed dashing off the bus and towards the intersection. "I better put on my costume! He suggested to himself as he took his business within a nearby phone booth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Its been nearly 30 minutes, and Quatre is still choking the life out Trowa. The team has been beaten senseless by either Quatre's feet or one hand. The other hand NEVER leaves Trowa's neck. They don't know which is more unbelievable: Quatre's super human abilities, or Trowa's super human ability to retain consciousness without oxygen.

            "It's hopeless!!!" Duo sighed. "We're never gonna save Trowa!"

            Heero staggered to his feet and took out his gun. "Then we kill them both!" He got ready aim, when suddenly he looked down the street and said, "You gotta be kidding me! He's alive!?" He changed his aim and got ready to shoot-- "ACK!!! What the hell!!?" he shouted at Treize who slapped the gun out of his hand with his sword.

            "I'm sorry, but the one who can end ALL battles is here."

            "The geek with the swirly glasses?"

            "He's not a geek! He's a god!"

            "….what ever! He's dead meat!"

            Tuxedo Melvin was ready for battle. The enemy had a helpless citizen in a choke hold. The guy in the space suit waved at him. _It's Trieze, he must be held hostage, too. _

_They are probably gonna hurt him next! Can't let that happen!_

_ Say, the blonde choking the life out of the innocent citizen is kinda cute! _

_Cuter than Molly and Usagi put together…. _

_Must touch her butt. _

_That Chinese guy looks like a fighter._

_ That guy with the long hair, has WAY too much hair! _

_That kid in the spandex looks cranky!_

_ He must be the leader. Better take him out first! Say _

_that Blonde has an older sister! Suh-weet! She's kinda big, better beat her up first, and then touch her butt! Alright!!! _

_You can do this Melvin!!! No!!!! Tuxedo Melvin!!!!!_

With his mental rant over The Super Geek-a-zoid got ready for battle"Taste the wrath of Tuxedo Melvin!!!!" He shouted running at the Gundam team.

            Treize ran out of the way and watched the carnage.

            Heero fired the gun, but the bullet bounced off Melvin's thick swirly glasses and hit Heero in the shoulder. The impact caused Tuxedo Melvin to trip over his own oversized cape and fall into the sidewalk bench. The bench went flying into Heero's head----**SMASH!!!!**

            "UUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuh!!!!" Heero sounded as the bench hit his jaw, rendering him OUT COLD. 

            "That's rare…." Duo spoke, scratching his head. He took hold of Heero's gun and started to fire.

            Tuxedo Melvin fell, after tripping and his cane went flying at Duo's neck! As Duo collapsed, Melvin staggered to his feet. He staggered over towards Quatre. The gum at the bottom of his shoe stuck to Duo's braid and dragged him across the street.

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAck!!!!" Duo yelled. "My fucking hair!!!!"

            Tuxedo Melvin tried to unstick the gum from his shoe. As he bent over, The Caped Geek bumped his rear into Wufei's stomach, before he could attack. When he tried to stand up and apologize, the back of his head struck Wufei in the nose and rendered him unconscious.

            "Funny, he must've been tired." Melvin wondered as her looked at Wufei. Ignoring Duo's screams he made his way towards the helpless citizen. "I'll save you!!"

            As he shot his arm up to pose, his hand smashed into Zechs' eye.

            "AAAAAH DAMN!!!!!" Zechs yelled. "You dirty bastard!!!"

            "What?" He turned around smacking Zechs with his oversized caped, entangling him. "Hey!!! That's my cape!!! Oh well!"

            He unhooked the caped, causing Zechs' struggles to lead him towards a nearby brick wall. He threw himself into the wall, knocking himself unconscious.

            "Oooh that looks bad!" he gasped. He stared over at the Golden Eye beauty that cackled before him and swooned, "Aaaah! Must touch butt!"

            **"?!!?!?" Quatre stared. He snarled, "****What are you looking at, fool!!!"**

            "oh----st----op------le----me----ACK!!!" Trowa begged through short gasps.

            Tuxedo Melvin rant towards Quatre, dragging Duo along, and into a trash can, knocking him out cold as well. His hair was covered with gum.

            Quatre swatted at Melvin, knocking him across the street.

            "Aren't you a feisty girl!!!" he coughed. As he staggered towards the two pilots, he tripped over his slightly oversized shoe and hit the fire hydrant. The side valve, was conveniently weaken due to Wufei colliding with it. It burst open and water went streaming out. It hit Quatre in the back and slammed him into a brick wall, face first.

            **"UUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!!!!!" Quatre wailed as he went out cold, sliding down the wall and landing with a wet thud.**

            Trieze clapped his hands, "Well done!"

            Tuxedo Melvin blushed, "AW! It was nothing! No really I didn't mean to hurt them!"

            Trowa staggered to his feet and started to take deep breaths. "I thought I was a goner." He looked over to Tuxedo Melvin and stared at all the comatose pilots. "I don't care how you did it! I want to thank you for saving me." He extended his hand for a shake.

            As Tuxedo Melvin walked to shake his hand he tripped over Heero's head and fell against Trowa. The Heavy Arms pilot was knocked back and fell upon Duo, twisting his ankle, fracturing his leg… and giving him a nasty boo-boo on the back of his head…..

            Trowa passed out…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Days later at the PeaceMillion, the GW Boys found themselves at the infirmary. Sally, Noin, and Relena were tending to them.

            "I can't believe you guys didn't come back without any food!" Sally huffed. She glared at the heavily bandaged Wufei and added, "So what happened with you and Raye? Did she cut up and leave?"

            Wufei's head hurt too much to even yell or snicker at her choice of words. He continued to glare at her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Noin walked up to Heero and sighed, "I hope Zechs is alright. After the White Fang reported finding him with a broken leg, cracked skull, and cranial swelling, I thought he was a goner." She rubbed Heero's head, which was the only body part NOT encased with a pink body cast.

            "OmEREREaeWOEWOEoEWEWEkuroso!" Heero yelled back at her, his jaw was wired shut. Whatever he muttered, it didn't sound nice.

            Noin cautiously walked away…

            Relena waltzed up to Heero and chirped, "Oh, he's just happy that we found him and his little friends. Now I can take good care of him."

            "MMoRPHmaeFRMoPHZSkuOOroOPHso!!!!"

            Relena blushed, "How romantic!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

             Duo was crying his ass off, as he felt the top of his head and felt nothing. The doctors managed to encase the broken collar bone, the arms, and leg, but they could not save his braid that was SO entangled with bubble gum it had turned pink!!!

            "I look like a fucking skinhead!!!! I can't go walking the outside like this!!! The girls will NEVER want me again!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-WAAAAAAAH…"

            Heero just stared at the DeathScythe pilot and groaned. _How the Hell did he go walking out before?_ He thought to himself. _I'll get that Tuxedo Melvin, I swear it! He's a dead geek!_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

            Quatre looked over to Trowa who had a trach, and was now REALLY mute. Despite being in a back brace and being connected to serious pain killers, he couldn't help but feel sorry for his best frin.

            "Oh, friend Trowa. I wish I could help you, but the doctors said that the medication I'm on prohibits me from walking, driving, and other regular activities…"

            "……" The mummified Trowa gurgled through the tube lodged in his throat.

            "What are you saying, Trowa? I'd never do that!"

            "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" _I swear, I'll kill you, Quatre! You white-faced rat! When this body is healed, voice or no, I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!_ Trowa yelled in his head.

            Of course Quatre can understand everything via Space Heart….

            "Kill me? But why?"

            "!!!!!!!!!" _You're a dead girly-boy, Quatre!!! I'm gonna rip your head off!!!!! You're gonna DIIIIIIIIIE!!!!_

            "That's not nice! Why are you yelling at me?!!!"

            "!!!!!!" _When this leg heals, it will be shoved up your ass so far…._

            Quatre started to cry, "Oh dear Allah!!! Someone keep him away from me!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

~~~~~~

            As the madness at the infirmary continued, Howard, who remained at the Main Deck of the Peacemillion, received a message from the newly reformed OZ. It was an all out signal to all from the new leader.

            "Uhm, Hello! It is I, Tuxedo MELVIN! The NEW leader of OZ. I just want to tell the colonies, the White Fang, and the Gundam Pilots that…. Er…uhm…"

            Trieze' voice could be heard from the background, " Resistance is futile!"

            Melvin continued, "R-resistance is futile. You shall ALL surrender to me! The NEW leader of OZ. I, Tuxedo Melvin has been chosen by his excellency, to end ALL wars and bring peace to all…. Starting with the execution of the Gundams! HA! Ha! Ha!"

            "This is the guy that kicked the pilots' butts??" Howard lowered his head and sighed. "Man, we're in deep shit."

            **Back at the OZ headquarters…. At the ****Mobile**** Suit construction area**

            "Wow!!! This Goddamn looks just like me!!!" Tuxedo Melvin gasped.

            Treize smiled, "All in honor of you, your Perfectness!" He went to his leader's ear and added, "It's called a Gundam. What would you like to call it, sir?"

            An evil sparkle went off in his eye and he grinned, "I'll call it: MELVINO!!!"

            Treize stared at him strangely, "Excellent….. (I think…)"

**LOOKS LIKE THAT WON'T BE THE LAST OF TUXEDO MELVIN!!! WHAT WILL THE CRIPPLED GW-Pilots DO?!??!**

**THE END?!?!?**


End file.
